#her design is absolute peak in those flashbacks

[darkpoisonouslove]

No but if a bae like Grififn would leave me, I would react like that too... I mean Griffin. I would lose it too right before I would cry in the corner of my room.

Sorry, I know that wasn't exactly your point but all I can think about now is the image of Valtor being like this after she left him:

[mandosnewpants]

My opinions on The Book of Boba Fett

Now that The Book of Boba Fett has been out for a while I've been able to collect all my thoughts on the show. I think I have finally landed on how I feel about it and that word would probably be underwhelmed. Perhaps that was partly on me and the certain expectations I had before the show aired. I was expecting something a little more gritty and deeper than what I got.

Before I get into what I didn't like I do want to say that there were parts that I really enjoyed. The first thing would be the Tusken Raiders. I love them and I was so happy that I got to see so much of how they live. Their whole culture was always vague and a mystery. We got so much new lore about them and their traditions. Less of them being savages and more of them being a civilized community. It was refreshing. They also played a huge part in Boba Fett's character growth from the last time we saw him in Star Wars Return of the Jedi. Which was very important for the basis of the show.

I also loved the collection of found family members that he collects over the season. The young kids from the working district and then also Black Krrsantan. Even the two Gamorreans I got attached to. It's one of my favorite tropes and I always enjoy seeing it.

Lastly but most importantly, Peli Motto. She's amazing. Her charm and humor brings me absolute joy. Her and Mando have peak character dynamics. She is so eclectic and chaotic and Mando is the exact opposite and on screen it works so well.

Now onto the things that I didn't enjoy or left me disappointed. I am going to put the rest under the cut because I don't normally like saying negative things and I want people to have choice of reading it or to choose not to.

I am going to start off small and move my way up on the list. Starting off, Tatooine has this dusty cowboy aesthetic which is in my opinion the best part of its charm. So when they added shiny skittle colored bikes that the street gang kids rode it was honestly immersion breaking. I am also going to group all the mods and costume design that the gang wears in with that. Now if this had been the only complaint I had with the show it wouldn't be that bad but it isn't and it just adds to everything else.

Next would be the lack of politics. Now I know the majority of the show revolves around politicking and I think that's why I am irritated. The whole plot of the season had to do with Boba stepping into a new role that involves a lot of socializing and pleasing people. Things that he has never had to do and is clearly a fish out of water especially regarding public service acts. While we get to see that aspect of it a lot of other things are happening unknown to him. I would have enjoyed seeing scenes with the crime families discussing Boba and their opinions and plans regarding him as the new Daimyo. A lot of what's going on is happening around Boba and we the audience are never privy to seeing it. We are forced to be in the dark along with Boba. I just wish we got to see some of those interactions between the mayor, Pykes, or any of the crime families. Especially the crime families! I found them so interesting and this would have been a great opportunity to explore their stories.

I think the next thing would be the overall lack of storytelling. This is excluding the flashbacks we get of Boba after he escapes the pit. Those I enjoyed. The present storytelling was lackluster. It felt like so much was happening in the background and on screen we saw very little. It was boring. Harsh as that might be but truthful. I was bored. Nothing was happening except Boba struggling to get a grip of what was going on. As the viewer I should have been more privy to what Boba wasn't seeing. Again the politics we didn't get.

Now I am going to get into the biggy. That being Mando's huge part in the show. This actually took me quite a while to articulate because I had to seperate my love for Mando with his role in The Book of Boba Fett. I will start with saying that I appreciate an episode dedicated to him and how he has been faring after we left him at the end of season 2 of The Mandalorian. I think from a writer's point of view it was needed if they wanted to bring him in to help Boba at the end of the season. I also believe from a billion dollar corporation's view it was a safe move to include him because right now he is Star Wars golden goose. At the end of the day for Disney it's about the money so I can't exclude that from trying to figure out why they decided to include him in such a large way. I am assuming the writers and directors had their hands tied to an extent regarding that.

I don't believe they should have given him a second episode. Everything revolving around him in Episode 6, this includes Grogu, Ahsoka, and Luke, I don't think should have been in the Book of Boba Fett. I was actually really surprised when that happened. It all seemed like storytelling that would have better fit in the next season of The Mandalorian or even the new Ahsoka television show.

I would have rather seen Episode 5 end with him saying he needed to go pay a visit to the little one and then Episode 6 revert back to the escalating situation on Tatooine without us seeing Mando at all. This would have been a great opportunity to get some of that storytelling that I mentioned above. Then have Episode 7 happen without Mando still and then half way through have him show up in his new ship and be that extra little support that they need to win. As much as I love to see Grogu I really didn't like that he was in the show. I personally didn't think he was needed to progress the story. I would have prefered to see his and Mandos reunion in the next Mandalorian season.

Now the largest problem I had has to do with Boba Fett. His character has always been vicious and calloused. I am aware that they were trying to set up a storyline that explains why he has "softened" a bit. I don't believe that him joining a Tusken tribe would have completely changed who he is to such a strong degree. I was expecting to see him be more forceful, with more fighting. More aggression. I can't picture him sitting around for most of the show playing nice. It would have been more believable that as soon as he got wind of a problem he would go in and be an enforcer. Take care of the problem before anyone could get the jump on him. Have his character arch progress through the show from him barreling into things guns blazing to slowly learning that he'd get a lot farther by being a good leader instead of being a hardened bounty hunter.

There was I think only three separate times in the whole show that Boba did something badass. The first was killing the lizard monster in one of the flashbacks. The other two times happen at the end of the last episode. Him killing Cad Bane and him riding in on the rancor. For a show literally about Boba Fett I was expecting more of the typical Boba Fett. I felt like he was out of character even in comparison to what we see of him in The Mandalorian. Slower character development I feel would have been better than what we got.

To wrap this up I again just want to land on that one word, underwhelming which is disappointing. I was so excited for this show and I had high hopes. If we get a second season of Boba Fett I hope they take it in a different direction. I believe the best thing for this show would be to slow down the character development and amp up the storytelling. Also to go all in, don't use Mando as a crutch. People love Boba and I think he can hold his own in a stand alone tv show. They just have to go all the way. Don't half ass it.

These are all just my personal opinions and takes on the show. I don't want to make anyone upset or angry especially if you loved it. At the end of the day it's just entertainment and if you were entertained then the show did its job.

Feel free to add your own hot takes. I would love to hear them.

[streetlight11]

Deep Scar

Summary: He used to be the popular kid in high school where everyone has a crush on him. He always gets Valentine's Day gifts be it presents, chocolates, homemade brownies, etc. He somehow brought his name to college where there were people who still finds him attractive. What happens when he bumps into a girl who treated him a lot different compared to others? Will he find out the truth behind her behaviour?

Theme: college au, childhood schoolmates but with a bad past

Genre: a little angsty, fluff ending though

Warnings: mild swearing (literally just one word), slight mention of harassment but nothing too crazy

WC: 4.6k

Pairing: Han Jisung x Fem!Reader

a/n: Hey hey :) I've had this in my google drive for quite sometime so my writing might not be so good here but bear with me. P.S the words in italics are his flashback, and hannie might sound like a jerk at one point but this doesn't portray him in real life because irl he's an absolute sweetheart :') Anyways, enjoy reading!

Coming to campus every morning only to find gifts and plenty of love letters in his locker has been becoming a daily routine for Jisung. Although he has never actually reciprocated any of them, he must admit that he did love the amount of attention that’s been drawn to him since back in high school.

He was the popular kid in school where he was known for his intelligence, charming personality and of course, his good looks.

Back in high school, girls would often slot in their confession letters in his locker almost everyday. Every Valentine’s Day, his table would be filled with chocolates and homemade brownies specially for him.

But all of those gifts would eventually be passed to his close friends for them to finish it for him.

Even now when he’s already in college, words spread around the campus of his status back in Saebom High, making everyone in Hankuk College know about him. Despite this new set of attention that was being directed towards him, he managed to make friends with a few people that he trusts.

Some of them were his classmates in college, some were his friends from music class, and some were his good friends back in high school. 

That day was no different as he walked down the hall to go to his designated locker, only to find a pink paper that had been folded into a cute little heart.

“Another love letter? Dude, at this point you should really date one of them so that this whole shenanigan would stop.” Chan said with a soft chuckled as Minho and Jeongin nodded in agreement with the elder boy. Jisung rolled his eyes as he unfolded the paper and read the confession, that was pretty much the same as the other notes he received.

All of which, never got reciprocated simply because Jisung believes he hasn’t found anyone that peaked his interest yet.

After about 5 minutes, he slammed his locker shut as the four boys began to walk down the hall, not missing the constant shy giggles and whispers from every direction. Jisung simply walked with his charming smile plastered on his face, making some girls feel their heart flutter in their chest.

Just when they had made a left turn, a figure smaller than them came crashing straight into Jisung’s shoulder, causing both individuals to stumble back a step from the impact.

“Watch where you’re going, dumbass.” The girl who was rubbing her shoulder said as she locked eyes with him firmly. Jisung was slightly baffled as no other girl would even dare to look at him straight in the eye.

“Excuse me?” He said, his voice clearly confused but the girl simply rolled her eyes at him, slightly annoyed.

“You heard me. I don’t have to say it twice.” 

“Do you even know who I am?” He asked, slowly starting to feel anger boiling through his veins.

“Do you think I care?” She taunts.

“Other girls would be scrambling away by now.”

“Oh, how exciting. Next time, wear side goggles so you can watch where you’re going.” Was all she said before she shoves past him to continue her journey down the hall to go to her class.

Everyone in that hallway was surprised with their little interaction. Some of them even snickered at her for behaving that way in front of him. As far as he knows, all the girls in school never dared to speak to him in person, nor would they even look at him straight in the eyes for they would either run away in embarrassment, or their face would turn flushed red.

Jisung tried not to think much of it as he continued his walk to his class.

During lunch, the boys had gathered at their usual table. However, Hyunjin and Seungmin were running slightly late this time. They were just a few bites into their meal when Hyunjin’s voice caught everyone at their table’s attention.

“Hey guys! Is it okay if our new friend joins us? She just transferred here so me and Seungmin offered her to have lunch with us.”

At the mention of a female, Jisung whips his head around, only to lock eyes with the same girl he bumped into just a few hours prior.

“You again? Try not to miss your mouth this time when you eat.” She said as her gaze locked on Jisung, leaving him speechless.

Hyunjin and Seungmin exchanged glances at each other in confusion but decided to just carry on with lunch as they ended up sitting with her. If she weren’t too direct, Jisung could almost agree that she was acting quite the opposite towards Hyunjin and Seungmin. Maybe with the others as well. She seemed genuinely friendly and almost effortlessly bright with them. 

If he was being honest, it almost upsets him that she treated him like an outcast as compared to the rest of his close friends. Days slowly but surely became weeks as she started to grow visibly close to Hyunjin and Seungmin probably because they were her classmates.

It was a Friday evening and they all decided to go to a pool bar where they had pool tables for people to play and also have light drinks if they wanted to.

They rented out two tables for themselves as they divided into two teams.

“Y/N! Join our team!” Hyunjin called as Y/N giggled, only for her to catch Jisung staring at her from one of the high stools beside the bar.

“I’ll join if he does.” 

She said as she nodded her head towards Jisung, only for the others to immediately drag him to Hyunjin’s pool table. The game soon started as Hyunjin served first. She seems to surprise them everytime she serves because all her shots were smooth and almost effortless. It was as if she’s done this multiple times.

“Wow, how are you so good at this?” Seungmin asked as she smiled at him, only to answer his question.

“I guess I’m pretty good at aiming.”

The boy giggled as they watched Hyunjin score a ball. All the while, Jisung was silently watching her by the side. 

Not in a creepy way but more like in a confused way. After they finished their one hour at the pool bar, they left to get dinner but she decided to call it a day for her and that she needed to go home to feed her starving kitty.

The boys bid her goodbye as she left, only for Changbin to question his friend.

“Jisung ah, you cannot tell me you’re not the slightest bit intrigued by her…”

With that, Jisung frowned as his mind came swirling back to all the times they’ve hung out with her and gotten to know her better. From all the mean comments tossed at each other like they were flat bread, to the time where she seemed genuinely concerned when Jisung nearly got run over by a speeding truck.

“No… No I’m not.”

Only he knows that it was a total lie but he wasn’t going to admit it to his friends. 

His ego was too high for him to easily admit that after all these years of girls trying so hard to win his attention, all he needed was Y/N to come into the picture and that was all it took for him to finally fall for someone.

Nobody needed to know his true feelings for her. He didn’t think it would be much of a big deal so he opted to keep his feelings to himself. It was another week into April, when Chan decided to invite them over to his apartment to hang out and chill on a chilly Saturday. Chan of course included Y/N in the list, hence the reason why she was currently standing outside his apartment door.

She was wearing a brown fitted crop top, her favourite denim ripped skinny jeans, a bomber jacket and her white converse.

She was greeted by Chan as he opened the door wider for her to enter.

She made it inside only to find Felix and Minho challenging each other in a game of Mario Kart Race. Hyunjin, Seungmin and Changbin were busy playing Call Of Duty on their phones. Jisung, Jeongin and Chan were in the kitchen, cooking up some hot kimchi stew.

Y/N took off her jacket as she went to snuggle in between Changbin and Hyunjin, watching them play an intense game of COD.

She was just laying her head on Changbin’s shoulder when he jerked forward, making her body shake as he turned to Hyunjin and high fived him after winning first place. Just then, he noticed the sad pout on her face at the loss of warmth, making him giggle as he sat back down to let her rest her head on his shoulder again before he whispered.

“Sorry baby.” She giggled as she pinched his abs, making him squeak. He laughed as he corrected himself.

“I’m just kidding.”

She smiled as she nuzzled into his shoulder while they were all occupied with doing their own things. A few minutes later, the 3 boys from the kitchen came back to the living room with the pot of kimchi stew and a rice bowl. 

However, Y/N didn’t miss the subtle frown on Jisung’s face when he saw her leaning her head against Changbin’s shoulder.

The 9 of them began eating diligently as they fit in almost any possible topic they could think off. After they finished their meal, she offered to wash the dishes since they were all busy. Chan told her not to trouble herself but she insisted on helping him.

She was scrubbing the second last bowl when she heard Jeongin’s voice calling from the living room.

“Noona! Come join us after you’re done washing the dishes okay? We’re gonna play truth or drink!”

“Okay Jeonginie.” She sang in a sing-song tune as she could hear some of them chuckle in the back.

As promised, she joined them after she was done with the last bowl, only to sit in between Minho and Seungmin. They went in a circle starting from Chan. It was in a circle until it reached her, only for Changbin to eagerly raise his hand.

“Oh! Oh! I have a good one!” Changbin said as his inner corner of the lips curved up into a cute smile, making her giggle.

“If you could go back to your past, what is the one thing that you would choose not to do?” His question was good. It was theoretical but good.

Suddenly, her eyes just instantly found Jisung’s soft brown ones as she told them her answer.

“The one thing I would choose not to do? Probably allowing myself to think that whatever people said to me was true.”

The guys started to frown as they asked if something bad happened to her back then but she simply shrugged them off and told them to continue the game. It went on until it was Jisung’s turn, only for Y/N to speak up.

“I have something I wanna ask him.”

This came as a surprise for the others but they let her do the honours anyway.

“Do you remember the girl who confessed to you back in high school?” She said. His eyebrows began to link together as he frowned at her sudden question.

“Huh?”

“The one where you rejected her confession by humiliating her in front of the whole school?”

“What are you talking about?” 

“Think harder.” She said.

Suddenly, memories start to flood in his mind like a flash flood.

“H-Hi. I made these for you. I hope you like cupcakes. I k-know a lot of other girls do this for you too, b-but… I-I just thought maybe I should give you something too. I- umm, I like y-you Han Jisung.” The girl confessed as she held out the box filled with her homemade cupcakes that she took time to bake for him the night before.

She bit the inside of her cheeks nervously as she diligently avoided his gaze. Just when she saw his arms reaching out to her thinking he was going to take the box from her, he forcefully smashed the box down making it slip out of her hands.

The students around them began to laugh as Jisung lifted a brow at her.

“Did you really think I’d accept your confession? Look at you. Who would date a girl who ties their hair in pigtails, have her tummy sticking out of her uniform shirt and constantly push the bridge of your spectacles up every 5 minutes? Have you seen yourself in a mirror? Nobody will ever fall for you.”

With that being said, he kicked the metal box away to reveal the fallen cupcakes as he went ahead and stepped on them like it was an insect.

The whole school laughed at her as she ran to the girls bathroom and locked herself in there as she cried her heart out. She was only 13 so it was slightly depressing for her to go through this terrible rejection.

Not only did he reject her in cold blood, he also humiliated her in front of everybody in the process. However, what made her even more upset is the fact that he didn’t seem to feel the slightest bit of remorse for saying those things to her.

That memory was as clear as day as he winced at the thought of how immature he was back then. Nevertheless, he didn’t forget the question he got from Y/N as he went ahead to answer her.

“Yeah… Yeah I remember…”

“Do you remember what you said to her?” Her voice softened as she kept her eyes on him while the rest of them had their eyes trained back and forth between Jisung and her.

“I said… I said she should look at herself in the mirror and that no one will ever fall for her.” 

The boys were shocked by how harsh he was to that said girl. Y/N could only smile sadly to him as she slowly continued. 

“Do you feel bad saying those things to her now?” 

Without much thought, he replied something that broke her heart.

“Why should I?” With that, she tried to hold back her tears as she looked at him dead in the eye before saying these next few words.

“Looks like you’re still that same cocky bastard huh?”

She soon got up from her seat on the floor, only to grab her things to leave when Jisung stood up to grab her wrist, stopping her from taking any more steps further.

“What are you talking about?” He asked, now genuinely confused as to what was going on.

“You’re really dense for someone as arrogant as you.” A scoff left her lips as her eyes bore into his, hoping he understood what she meant. After what felt like forever, Jisung finally realized as it was as though his life just flashed before his eyes.

“Wait… that was you?!” His voice was loud as it was laced with confusion and slight disappointment.

“And what happens if I say yes? Are you gonna ask me if I’ve looked into the mirror and realize that no one will ever fall for me?”

Her words stinged like venoms as he winced yet again but this time, at how hurt she seemed. She didn’t realise this but her tears were no longer held back as a few droplets rolled down her cheeks.

“Your words hurted me back then. So I tried to ignore it and move on. But when you said your answer just now, I realized that maybe you really are just an arrogant jerk.”

She finally pulled her arm out of his grasp as she left without sparing a glance to the others. Jisung has never felt so utterly remorseful, today was the first time. He mentally scolded himself for saying those words back when he was young and immature.

He has never felt so fucked up before, this was definitely the first.

A few days went by, Y/N hasn’t talked to either of the boys, not even Hyunjin and Seungmin. Every time Jisung tried to reach out to her, she would always successfully avoid him. It has been almost 2 weeks since they last talked to her as the boys agreed to go release their stress by going to the downtown club.

They had booked a booth for all 8 of them as they sat in there with some girls coming back and forth to try and get laid with either one of them.

Just then, Jisung’s eyes seemed to scan the room only to see a familiar figure dancing freely on the dance floor. He frowned as he rubbed his eyes to make sure they weren’t playing tricks on him.

He double confirmed that it was in fact Y/N, as he got up and left the booth ignoring the boy’s calls.

Right when he was about to reach the dance floor, he saw her deliberately get dragged through the sweaty, intoxicated humans and towards the back door. He followed them close behind as he saw her struggling to free herself from the man’s hold.

The minute she was out the back, the man pushed her against the brick wall as he attacked her neck forcefully.

“Stop!” She begged.

The man ignored as he started to caress her waist and moved up.

“Stop it!” She tried again as tears started to roll down her cheeks desperately.

The minute she managed to put a distance between herself and the man, the metal back door swung open harshly only for her to lock eyes with Jisung as he rushed down the steps, only to land a solid punch to the man’s jaw.

The man fell to the ground drunkenly as he struggled to stand back up.

“What the fuck man? Get your own girl!” The man said as he grabbed Y/N’s wrist and was about to pull her when Jisung roughly shoved him off again.

The man threw a few drunk punches to Jisung and soon they were both in a fist fight. The two males were starting to have blood clots and bruises all over their bodies and faces when Hyunjin and Changbin came to stop the fight.

“Jisung! Jisung! That’s enough!” Hyunjin yelled as they both grabbed Jisung by his arms and pulled him back.

“Don’t ever touch her again.” Jisung growled as the man stumbled back into the club.

Y/N frowned as she visibly hugged herself, only to see Hyunjin and Changbin give Jisung a subtle nod before they both went back inside, giving privacy to Jisung and Y/N. Once they were alone in the dark alley, that’s when she spoke up.

“Why did you come? Afraid someone might fall for me?”

“You clearly weren't comfortable with him.”

“So what? Why do you care? It’s not like he would fall in love with me. Who am I for someone to even like me? Right?”

Jisung frowned as he called out her name softly but she was quick to intercept.

“I didn’t go to Hankuk to get back at you for what you did to me. Never in a million years did I think I’d even see you again. But now that you’re standing here in front of me, that very day comes back to haunt me again. Because of your words, I have been so afraid of falling for someone, even just a tiny crush. That’s what you did to me Han Jisung and I don’t think I can ever forgive you for that.”

With that being said, she turned in her heels and left. Jisung stood there like an idiot as he cursed himself for letting her walk away yet again. 

If this happened back in high school, he would probably laugh at her. But now that he was actually starting to like her, he has never felt so upset and disappointed. This was probably even worse than a break up.

She refused to speak to him for days after as she avoided everyone in the friend group.

It was a gloomy Friday night as she was laying on her couch sideways, watching a sappy romantic movie to drown her sadness. She was wearing a loose sweater that made it look like a dress on her. Her calf high socks and a pair of shorts she always wore to sleep.

She had just thought about what she could get for supper when there was a knock on her door.

“Who the hell comes at a time like this?” She thought to herself as she went over to her door and opened it without checking the peephole first. She almost stumbled as she locked eyes with the same pair of brown orbs that she’s been trying so hard to avoid for the past few weeks.

“Jisung? What are you doing here?” She asked, genuinely shocked at how he knew her address.

“Y/N, can we talk?”

“There’s nothing to talk about.”

“Please just hear me out. I don’t need you to say anything, I just need you to listen.”

She fell silent for a moment before she opened the door wider for him to enter. Once inside, he followed her to her living room, only for them to sit 3 feet apart. She urged him with a slight nod as he took a deep breath and soon began.

“Look. I know whatever I did to you back then was horrible. It was my ego talking. I didn’t know any better. We were so young… How could I possibly feel bad at the time when all I thought was to reject you?”

Just then, she cut him in by saying something that made him rethink his choices.

“You’re telling me that everything you said to me meant nothing to you just because it wasn’t you who received it?”

“I… I wasn’t thinking. I was young-”

“Bullshit. Even a 5 year old kid knows what’s nice and what’s hurtful to say to others. Don’t pull the young card on me.”

“Y/N please-”

“Get out. If you’re still gonna be the same arrogant, highly egoistic jerk then get out. You’ve said things that left a deep scar in my life and here you are saying it doesn’t mean anything? Get out.”

“Y/N-”

“I said get out!” She finally screamed as her chest was heaving, her tears streaming down her face in anger but she didn’t care. She got up as she dragged him to the door, while he tried to fight back. The minute he was out, she slammed the door behind her only to lock it as she found herself sliding down the door, only to sit on the wooden floor.

Her cries were soft, but they were filled with so much pain. On the other side of the door, Jisung could hear her cries as he too kneeled on the ground with his hands against the door.

He could hear her loud and clear as he felt his heart shatter into a million pieces. He couldn’t bear to say a word to her as he remained quiet.

The next morning, Y/N woke up suddenly wanting to get herself breakfast to clear her memory from last night. She got out of bed, took a warm shower, got changed into her sweatpants, a big hoodie and a cap. She unlocked her door and had just taken a step outside when she jumped at the slight of Jisung seated on the ground beside her apartment door.

Since he was a light sleeper, the sound of her door opening, woke him up as he quickly got on both feet.

Before she could re-enter her apartment, he pressed his palms against the door to prevent her from closing it as he spoke up softly.

“Y/N, please, please let me explain.” He begged as she wasn’t sure why but she decided to let him in. Once he was inside, they didn’t even bother to go anywhere further into her apartment as he stood by the door and began to explain himself.

“Y/N, please listen to me. I know what I did was bad. At the time, I didn’t realise how humiliating it was for you. But now that I’m an adult, I realized that my actions were extremely horrible and I would never, ever do that to anyone now.” He paused before he continued on.

“I know that whatever I said and did back then, I can’t take any of it back. And I don’t blame you for not forgetting or forgiving me for it. I admit that I deserve this from you. All I ask is for you to give me another chance to start over. But I understand if you want nothing to do with me.” He said with a tiny hope laced in his voice although he wasn’t so confident that she would forgive him this time.

She knew he felt guilty for whatever he did back then so it wasn’t wrong for her to give him a second chance right?

“How would I know you’re not just acting this way to set me up for humiliation again?” She asked.

“Would I say all those things and bring my ego down just to prove that I felt like utter shit after everything you told me, only to humiliate you even further?”

“Nobody knows what your ego is capable of.”

“If my words won’t convince you, would my actions do?”

“What if you do it, only to leave and tell on me to everyone else?”

“I can’t seem to get your trust now, can I?”

“Try being in my shoe and you’ll know.”

“Y/N please… I know I left a deep scar on you emotionally and mentally back then, but please… I beg you, please just… let me start over. I need you to trust me just this once.”

“Fine. But if you abuse my trust, I’m never speaking to you again.” 

“Believe me, you have no idea how fucked up I felt that night at Chan’s.”

Right after he finished his sentence, he didn’t waste anymore time as he reached up to cup her face in both hands and soon kissed her. She instantly melted against his body as he pulled her closer by the waist. His kisses were so gentle, as if he was afraid he would break her again.

His touch was soft as he slid his hands under her shirt only to draw random patterns onto her waist.

Just then, he pulled away from her lips but it was so addicting he couldn’t help but peck her lips one last time before he spoke up.

“I’m really, really sorry Y/N for everything back then. I couldn’t help but feel like complete shit after that night when I found out that was you. You don’t have to forgive me, I totally understand.”

Y/N just smiled as she gently tangled her fingers in his hair at the nape of his neck before she spoke up.

“Would I have let you kiss me if I was still mad?”

He remained quiet as she then continued.

“Besides, I’m giving you a chance to redeem yourself so please, don’t take advantage of this.” She warned gently.

Jisung kissed her for slightly longer before he pulled away and whispered against her lips.

“I promise.”

With that, she smiled as she wrapped her arms around his waist, burying her face in his chest while he snaked his arms around her smaller figure. 

Ever since then, Jisung did everything he could to redeem himself for what he did to her back in high school. She slowly began to fall for him as she gave him a solid second chance and she could see how genuine he was now whenever he did something nice for her. Even if he didn’t say it out loud, she knew that he really tried his best to win her heart. And it worked.

~~~

[bakugou-tm]

fate’s design; bakugou

Okay so this was one of the few ideas I had going on but this one I had after I heard about the live action Tangled being made (literally wanted to be cast for that so bad). But anyways the reader has a healing quirk from her hair just like Rapunzel’s when she sings the song, and you can find out the rest as you read ;)

word count: 3000+

warnings: kidnapping, mad angst but a happy ending :-)

Emotion was a long lost friend of yours.

When you were younger, your life was filled with emotion.

The joy you felt when your family came over for summer cookouts and you got to play in the pool with your cousins while the sweet smell of meat burned on the grill. The sadness you felt when you had to reveal to your parents that you flunked your first math test. The anger you felt when your father ate the last cookie you had made with your mother that weekend, though it was quickly resolved when he returned to the store with a fresh batch.

All of these emotions, no matter good nor bad, you were at bay with. Content with even. Because at that time it was just so nice to.. feel something. Anything.

How you wished you could feel again, have a family again, a life.

That was all ripped from your grasp when you felt your very last emotion: pain.

The day was just like any other, you were walking home from school on sixth year in primary school. Your classes were beginning to grow harder, but thanks to your helpful friends and wise parents you had no troubles. After all, you and your peers were preparing for high school.

You remembered how excited you were for high school. Getting to meet new friends, join new clubs, play new sports. Perhaps you watched too many cliché high school movies, or maybe you had been too naive.

Probably the ladder.

You took the same path you always took, crossing through pretty neighborhoods with large historic trees and cracked sidewalks that brought back memories to your youthful days.

Just as you turned the corner you felt that feeling of comfort in your chest upon seeing the rustic color of your home, the smell cherry blossom tree overwhelming your senses as it did every afternoon.

You allowed the faint breeze to flow through your long soft locks, the occasional blossom falling far from the tree and into your hair.

You would always think... silly flower, you don’t belong in my hair. You belong in the tree with your family.

Walking peacefully down the street you made sure to skip over each crack, the knacking fear of the old children’s tale still in the back of your head.

To you it was just like any other weekday, the same old routine, same old walk, same old emotions.

But that day was far from normal, it was the last day you had the luxury of feeling.

You remembered the way a shiver ran up your spine when you felt someone entwining their fingers in your long locks. You remembered the way your parents ran outside at the sound of your shrill screams. You remembered being held back as you were dragged into a rundown van, your poor excuse of trying to escape proving to be useless. You remember having to watch your parents get engulfed in flames, their screams of agony filling your ears which over-rid the sound of tape being slapped across your mouth and body.

But the one thing that really swam in your mind like poison was the torn blossom that laid much to peacefully on the palm of your hand as tears of pure fear danced down your cheeks.

Silly flower, you don’t belong here.

Things have never been the same since that day. Sometimes you tried to think back on that day, those memories, just to try feel something again. But it never worked, nothing worked.

You followed the same routine everyday. Wake up, eat whatever scraps you could get, sit in the corner silently with no thought in mind, wait for one of the injured villains to come in, sing your song, heal them, hope they didn’t ask for much more from you, sleep, repeat.

You used to hate it so much, helping the people that took your life away against your will. Knowing you were the power of the sick people that ruined other people’s lives everyday. But at this point, you didn’t even know what it felt like to hate.

All you knew how to do was sing that sickening song and sleep. Nothing sounded the same anymore, nothing felt the same, nothing tasted the same. The bottom line was, nothing was the same.

And for six years that was your mindset, nothing would ever be the same. This would be your life til the day you die. That is, if you were lucky enough to see death’s doors.

But one day that mindset changed, your life changed forever. Thanks to the boy with crimson eyes.

-

You sat in the corner of your room, your bottom growing numb against the hardwood floors but you couldn’t care less.

Admittedly your room had gotten some upgrades since you first arrived here. From 11 to 18 you had finally been able to see a bed again, but it mattered not. The bed felt the same as the floor at this point.

Your (e/c) orbs were glued to the floor, your eyelids forcing themselves open pitifully as you traced the outlines of the hardwood as you did everyday.

With your room being below ground, probably in the middle of some rundown city, you weren’t able to hear much of what was going on in the outside world. Sometimes you would imagine what was happening, what holidays were going on and what families were spending time together.

It probably felt nice.

When a loud bang arose from upstairs, your eyes merely flicked to the door with uninterested. Probably one of the villains getting in a fight. Their hideout was in a rundown bar of sorts, this leading to the buffoons always being a drunk mess.

All you could do was hope that they would be sober enough when they had their daily visit with you.

The banging only proceded to get louder, shouts filling the air but you simply ignored it. Letting your head lower to the ground again as your (h/c) locks showered along your face.

Through everything you’ve been through, one thing that never changed was your hair. No matter how much you tugged and pulled at it, wishing it would fall out and end this misery you called a life: it remained.

Soft and gentle as ever, the strands never bothering to move out of place as the cascaded down your smooth shoulders.

It made you absolutely sick.

As the banging grew closer to your door you swore you almost felt a bit of curiosity fill your mind. But who were you kidding, you knew it was only your mind playing tricks on you.

Even as new voices filled the air and quirks seem to go off every which way, you failed to believe it was anything of your concern. You had been tricked long enough, you wouldn’t dare fall for hope again.

Curling your scratched up knees to your chin you let more of your hair cascade around your face, hoping to drown out the sounds and maybe even fall asleep.

The vibrations along the walls were surprisingly lulling to you, your head leaning against the cold concrete as you let your (e/c) irises see the last of this damp room for today. 

But apparently your luck was runnign short today. Just before you could doze off into what freedom you had, the door slammed open.

Your eyes blinked open slowly, your (e/c) orbs peaking up to see which villain you had to heal today, only to see a figure you didn’t recognize.

He was dressed in a uniform, perhaps a villain you’ve never met? But he had no serious injuries, what else could he be here for?

One thing that stuck out to you was the slight confusion and horror that was washed over his expression as he looked you up and down.

If you had any bit of feeling left in your body you would almost be intimidated by the handsome man, his crimson iris’ slicing through you as his lips formed into a snarl showing off his near perfect teeth.

“You’re the flower they’ve been talking about?”

The sound of the word flower made you grimace, the word making you sick to the stomach as a quick flashback of the broken blossom in your hand so many years ago came to mind.

When arriving this the dungeon you now called home, the villains took note of the many blossoms in your hair from your tree at home, deciding to give you the nickname “flower”.

The word you once loved now made you sick.

Your flinching didn’t go un-noticed by the man before you, his eyes narrowing into mere slits as he clenched his fists.

“Sick bastards.”

Before you knew it he was walking over to you, extending out a palm to you awaiting you to take it.

He stood there, his eyes glancing back at the door to make sure no other shitty villain was coming before he glanced back at you only to see your body shoved even further into the corner.

His eyebrow rose in confusion as he shook his hand in an annoyed manor. What the hell were you doing?

“I’ve already done my job for today, please let me rest until tomorrow.” You spoke with quivering lips, only leading the ash blond to click his tongue.

“I’m not here to use you I’m here to get you the hell out of here, I’m a damn hero.”

In that moment you had never felt so overwhelmed in your life. So confused and unsure what to do. Hero? There was such a thing? How could this be real? You were sure your doomed life had been planned out, what was going on? Could life not let you chip away in peace?

The so called “hero” before you was growing impatient. He quickly crouched down on his toes, letting his arms lay across his knees as he looked at you with stern eyes, mumbling something about this being shitty Deku’s job.

“Listen I’m a fucking pro-hero okay? We’ve been chasing this case for months, hearing that the League of Villains had a secret weapon called their “Flower” that’s been the source of all their success these past few years,” The man explained with a sigh as he grit his teeth, “We expected you to be an actual flower, not a damn human, but it turns out these assholes are more disturbing than we expected.”

Your eyes felt glazed over as he offered his hand out once more.

“Now I need you to fucking trust me so I can get you out of here got it?”

For once in these past long years... you felt something. You felt the warm salty water dance across your cheek. You felt the rough rubber of this man’s glove as your slender fingers slid across his own. You felt... damn you say it.. hope.

Swallowing what saliva you had formulated in your mouth, you gave a quick nod before completely taking his hand and allowing him to lift you up from the floor.

One moment you were in the room you had lived in for six years, now you were running down the hallway. Nothing was in your way, it felt so surreal.

This had to be happening for a reason, maybe this was a test. Were they going to kill you if you betrayed them? Who were you kidding, killing you would be the easy way out. They needed you.

When the sight of stairs came into sight your eyes widened, you remembered those from your first day here. Upstairs, outside those doors was the real world.

For a quick second you almost felt like smiling, like screaming from pure joy. But you should’ve known what that would lead to. As a bullet sunk through the chest of the hero before you a scream did end up releasing from your chest.

But not from pure joy.

The hero sunk to his knees, his free gloved hand grasping his now bloodied chest before falling to the ground.

“Now now look what you’ve done flower, you know we have strict rules to keep you safe here.” The villain spoke before you, his gun flicking around his finger as if it were a toy as he began to walk towards you.

So the universe was still playing tricks on you, it wanted to make sure that you knew life still could be worse. And it was, it just kept getting worse and worse.

At least before you didn’t have to see the lifeless bodies that you had caused, but now as you saw the hero before you losing any sign of life in his crimson orbs you felt as if your body was being torn up from the inside. Just like when you saw your parents.

“Come on now flower, let’s get you back to your roo-”

A loud explosion from upstairs was heard causing you and the villain to stumble to your feet. Glancing up you noticed that heavy amounts of dust and ash from the cement walls were clouded around the villain before you.

In that moment you saw two choices. Two choices that life had bestowed upon you. You could either wait for those five seconds and allow the villain to take you back to that prisoned hole.

Or you could safe this hero and possibly have another chance at life. But why would you even try. Had you not learned after six years that life was not in your favor? What was even the point?

As your (e/c) eyes flicked down to the lifeless hero you wanted so badly just to lay beside him and give up, accept the cursed fate stowed upon you.

But as you looked into his crimson eyes, the only thing you could see were the eye’s of your parents. The lifeless look across their expressions as they screamed in pain from the intense flames engulfing them.

Back then you were too weak to do anything about it. You had to watch that happen and allow your life to become what it was. You... You couldn’t do that again.

No.

Gritting your teeth you dragged the hero through one of the now broken down doors, hastily wrapping your locks of hair around his chest as he coughed most likely from pain, holding at his wound.

You narrowed your eyes intensely and focused on making sure you hair wrapped around every inch of his wound.

The ash blond hero narrowed his own eyes up to you weakly, fighting to speak as he watched you maneuver around his corpse.

“W..What the hell are y..you doing?” The hero rasped, his hand trying to grasp around your wrist in an attempt to stop you, “Get the fuck out of here, save... save yourself!”

You simply ignored his pleads, tightening your locks of hair before inhaling deeply.

“Flower, gleam and glow, let your power shine..” You spoke softly, your eyes closing in focus as the hero before you gave you a crazed expression, “Make the clock reverse, bring back what once was mine.”

Initially the hero was disturbed by your soft singing, wondering if this was some sort of song of lost hope. How could you accept your fate like this? He couldn’t seem to plug anything together until he noticed your roots of your long (h/c) locks glow a bright golden color, the bright effect slowly cascading down your locks like a waterfall.

“Heal what has been hurt, change the fates’ design,” You sang peacefully, channeling your quirk’s energy to the man’s injury, “Save what has been lost, bring back what once was mine...”

Upon those words of the song your gentle (e/c) eyes opened slowly to glance down to the hero beneath you, his eyes growing wider as a mix of shock from your quirk’s magic and his sudden energy being brought back to him.

“What once was mine.”

The ash blond failed to notice his steady breathing once again, rather focusing on your hair’s golden shine fading away as your locks began to loosen from around his chest. His eyes followed down to his once bloody chest to now see the hole from the wound completely gone.

Suddenly it all made sense.

You were their healing flower, the source of their power. None of the members of the League of Villains were being taken down because they had unlimited lives. That’s why they had no fear running into battles, they knew they had no risk. Because they had you.

The young hero wasn’t sure if it was from the purely radiant song you sang, or maybe it was the action that had become of the song, or maybe now he was realizing just how truly beautiful you were inside and out. As if he had known you for years. But there was one thing he knew for sure.

Sitting up from his laid down position, the hero gently held both of your palms into his own as he gave you a gentle yet stern look.

“Flower, I will protect you at all costs, from this day on. You will never see the likes of these sick bastards again. We’re going to survive this and I’m going to be your damn hero.”

What was that feeling? The overwhelmingly warm surge through your chest. It felt as if he you had been stabbed in the heart, but it wasn’t pain you were feeling at all. In fact the warmth was spreading through your entire body, as if something inside you had been reawakened.

Part of you wanted to feel concerned about it but you just couldn’t with the other thought swarming in your head.

The hero just called you by the name you swore you would hate for the rest of your life, and yet you felt nothing but trust in the man. The word you swore would always make you feel sick... made you feel hope. 

And for once in six years you allowed the corners of your lips to rise as you took his hand and spoke the first words of your new life with this crimson eyed man.

“I trust you hero.”

[revchainsaw]

Buffy: the Vampire Slayer (1997)

Season 1

Hello and Welcome back my creepy congregation! We will be taking todays service from the Big Screen into your living room for our first Personal Devotional. That's Right! We're reviewing full seasons of television series now and what better way to bring the spirit of the genre film to the idiots lantern that with the 90s Television sensation and all around love letter to the horror genre, Buffy the Vampire Slayer!

The Message

Regardless of how one may feel about Mr. Whedon we can't deny how much we love Buffy Summers and the Kids who live and die in Sunnydale! Season one of Buffy was a spin off/reboot of the earlier film and an attempt by Whedon to course correct the franchise by breathing a little charm and attention into the subject matter.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer (Season 1) focuses on Buffy Summers, a not so typical California high school student who, due to the events of the movie, has been relocated to Sunnydale High. Buffy is not just a cute, athletic, teenage girl looking to enjoy the prime of her life, though she is those things, she is also the Slayer, an anointed warrior who has been reincarnated throughout the generations to protect our vulnerable weak human world from the forces of evil; particularly Vampires. Buffy is a sort of supernatural Captain America, that is a peak human being, but instead of Nazi Science she was born with her powers.

Joining Buffy are; High School outcasts Willow and Xander (a nerd and a nice guy respectively), The ridiculously sexy librarian Rupert Giles (her mentor, guardian, high school librarian, and all around precious papa bear), Jenny Calendar (a technopagan computer teacher armed with all the mystery an ignorant 90s boomer could attribute to the internet), Angel (Spoiler: He's a Vampire, but he's a good guy. A hunky, broody, good guy vampire love interest), and her loving but entirely oblivious mother. The Scoobies as they have come to be called aid Buffy in her quest to protect Sunnydale from Dark Forces.

And Speaking of those Dark Forces, they are primarily vampires, led by the Master; an ancient vampire who resembles to some degree Nosferatu and a Bat, a look that Guillermo Del Toro would later perfect in his own series the Strain. The Master seeks to fulfill an ancient prophecy that would open the Hellmouth (a portal to hell, exactly what it sounds like) and free him in order that he and his kind should conquer the world.

The first season is fairly short consisting of the following adventures.

1. Welcome to the Hellmouth - Buffy moves to Sunnydale seeking to leave her Vampire ways behind, but the vampires just won't let her catch a break.

2. The Harvest - Vampire Shenanigans continues. Buffy learns of the Master.

3. Witch - A fellow Cheerleader is possessed by her witchy mom.

4. Teachers Pet - Buffy vs Giant Mantis

5. Never Kill a Boy on the First Date - Buffy vs the Anointed One (Not Really)

6. The Pack - Buffy vs Hyena Possessed High School Bullies

7. Angel - Buffy vs Angel but actually Darla

8. I, Robot ... you, Jane - Buffy vs Internet Demon

9. The Puppet Show - Buffy and Sid the Dummy vs Organ Harvesting Demon

10. Nightmares - Buffy has bad dreams

11. Out of Mind, Out of Sight - Buffy vs Invisible Nerd

12. Prophecy Girl - Buffy vs The Master (also Buffy Dies)

Overall the short season, while not allowing for too much world building, kept the show to a format that allowed very little filler. So although we mostly only get vampires as villains, we don't have enough time to really be bored of it. Some of the shows dynamics and cultural concerns definitely date the series but overall Season 1 of Buffy is definitely not a difficult watch, and can be enjoyed over and over again.

Let's get to the Benediction:

Best Character: Slay Girl, Slay!

As far as season one goes the titular Buffy Summers is the best character. Sarah Michelle Gellar is absolutely charismatic in the lead role and though at times she may seem selfish or reckless it makes perfect sense for the character. The character is allowed to be weak, to be selfish, and to be unlikeable. She avoids the foibles of a Luke Skywalker or a Harry Potter. She joins the ranks of primary protagonists who are not constantly outshined by their supporting cast. I believe when Buffy is sad, I believe when she throws a punch, I believe she struggles with her destiny. The only thing I don't believe is how ditsy she let's on.

Best Actor: Head's Up!

Anthony Stewart Head. Head as Giles is just fantastic. His balance of frustration with Buffy and genuinely parental concern is heartwarming and absolutely makes Giles one of the warmest father figures in television history.

Best Episode: A 'Master'ful Finale

It all builds up to Prophecy Girl and for good reason. Television shows often have mini-finale's at the end of their first seasons because the teams behind the series are not sure they will have a chance to tell more of their story. For that reason you can see just the first season of most television series and feel like you've heard the whole deal. I wish this habit was kept up in other seasons as we wouldn't still be wondering what the hell happened to Joel at the end of the Santa Clarita Diet. Buffy is no exception to this phenomenon and therefor attempted to tie up much of it's narrative in Prophecy Girl. While that often means big bads will be dispatched, I think it's a small price to pay for not winding up in a cliff hanger. Buffy and Giles just shine in this episode, Angel is given a more heroic role, Willow finally values herself as she should and Xander stops being a fucking horrible human being for once. This episode really satisfies in all areas.

Best Villain: Sweet, Sweetheart Killer

It's such a shame that Darla was killed so early on in the franchise. She is such a great presence on the screen that she overshadows all the villains that play alongside her, even the Master. I would have loved to have seen an alternate season where she offs the old coot and assumes the role of big bad much like Spike does in Season 2. Lucky for everyone that Darla is featured throughout the show in flashbacks and I hear she is even resurrected in Angel. Also, for Scott Pilgrim fans I feel like she and Envy Adams are very much sympatico. Maybe if they reboot Buffy all my dreams will come true.

I'd also like to take this time to recommend the song Angels and Darlas by Say Hi! It's pretty good.

Best Monster Design: Internet Troll!

While I can't speak for where the money in Season 1 of Buffy went, I can say that at least some decent cash was spent on both the forms of Moloch the Corruptor from the Episode "I, Robot ... You, Jane". Moloch was pretty wicked looking as a machine toward the end of the episode, he looked like a Mortal Kombat villain, but it's the green scales and ram horns the actor is sporting at the beginning of the episode that really catches the eye. In fact, I'm feeling compelled to hunt down any Moloch the Corruptor merch that may be out there on the internet. It's certainly no mystery why the demon's face is featured prominently in the theme song. It just looks great! Good job to the make up department there.

Most WTF moment: "Pack"s a Punch on Principle

While not the greatest episode in season one "the Pack" is certainly worth the watch if for no other reason than the horror is kicked up when a group of high school students under the influence of a malevolent Hyena God, decide that the School Mascot is not enough to satisfy their bloodlust turn on the principal, and yes, THEY EAT HIM. I remember being completely caught of guard the first time I saw that scene, and it kickstarted the running gag of Sunnydale high principles meeting their demise in horrific ways.

Worst Character: No More Mr. Nice Guy

When I was in college I often felt bad for Xander. The funny guy who just had no luck with women. He was sarcastic but had a big heart, and used a horny gimmick to mask his loneliness, or so I thought. But now I am older, I am wiser, I have known the touch of another human being and I have to say that Xander Harris is a really scummy fellow. I don't remember thinking so poorly and I wonder if the character develops a more nuanced view of women as the show goes on. As it stands there's barely a point in the series that Xander does not view the female cast as objects for him to enjoy or be embittered towards for one reason or another. It's not charming, it's foul. Xander Harris of season one is absolutely a terrorist attack waiting to happen, if Buffy had happened today it would be much more concerning to see someone so embittered, horny, and entitled to womens time and energy as Xander Harris. Dude is one step away from pulling an Elliot Rogers. Calm down buddy and maybe actually listen to a woman and you may find you aren't as much of a 'nice guy' as you think.

Worst Episode(s): If you're not first ...

It's a toss up on this one. Season One of Buffy is actually so short and concise that the 'Monster of the Week' episodes will have to be up for grabs as the worst episode by default, but even they are pretty watchable and don't warrant the vitriol a "worst" dub usually entails. I'd say there is not a worst episode of season one, just some episodes that aren't as good as the rest. In that vain, take your pick from "Witch", "Out of Mind, Out of Sight", or "The Puppet Show". However, I'd be doing a disservice to those episodes not to mention that each one of them takes what could just be a basic Buffy Vs (insert Villain), and does something unique and interesting with the idea. The villain of "Witch" actually turns out to be a has been cheerleader actually possessing the body of her innocent daughter to relive her glory years, The Invisible Girl is actually the victim of social cruelty, her peers disinterest in her manifesting in her condition becoming quite literal and she is picked up by the military in the end, then the Puppet show, well, it's just about the stupidest most absurd thing that could possibly happen and it's completely unafraid of that fact.

Summary:

Buffy The Vampire Slayer (Season 1) is not the most groundbreaking TV, but it is absolutely evident why the show was such a phenomenon. Season 1 is particularly rewatchable. It does not demand too much investment or attention, but it will get it from you, especially on a first viewing. It's not afraid to take itself absolutely seriously or to plant it's tongue firmly in it's cheeks. It is to a degree a product of it's time, but in many other aspects feels timeless.

Overall Grade: B

[overshadowedprojects]

Oh gosh, first of all: Thank you all so much for all the ‘likes’ and reblogs!! I said I would ‘review’ and discuss into more detail about those cupcakes, so here we are...!

The following pictures were taken with my cellphone instead of the Canon Camera.

I used a base ‘moist vanilla’ cupcake recipe, so I only made (x1 large x6 regular) cupcakes of the Indus and Banzai Blaster cupcakes, and 6x regular of Mera’s!! 

The primary difference in the cake itself is the use of lemon/orange zest as well as infused tea, Indus’ (masala chai and orange) is the only one that used almond extract instead of vanilla extract. 

All of them are decorated with butter cream, colours varying. The above shows one of each regular sized cupcake with their corresponding main flavour component! 

“Banzai Blaster” Lemon Curd cupcake!

Such a huge component of this cupcake is the Lemon Curd. While there is lemon zest in the cake, it’s certainly less noticeable. Yhe curd is very sweet and the citrus’ sharpness pairs well with the more subtle cake. In my photos, it was difficult to see, but the cupcakes are filled with the lemon curd! A tasty smooth surprise.

From a “which flavour stands out the best” of the three, I would certainly say the Lemon. It’s a more traditional flavour as a pastry. Especially if you include the raspberries... for me, it’s just a series of tastes that harmonize very well. 

“Mera” ‘s Earl Grey and Butterfly Pea Flower Cupcake

This seems to be everyone’s favourite appearance wise; Which, really makes me super happy!! (To the sweetheart who thought I stabbed it with glass, it’s edible, but your reblog made me laugh... I’m glad it looked real!) 

It was certainly the most complicated in regards to making the garnish (sugar glass needs to be cooked to 300F in order to get a solid end product) and personally I feel it represents her epithet very well.

Fun fact: Originally I was going to go with a Earl Grey and black berry cupcake with broken white chocolate! But alas, despite the name Black berries produce a very vibrant redish purple. So I went with the butterfly pea flower! When brewed, it creates such an intense deep blue... it’s absolutely gorgeous!!

I used the colours from the flower for all of this cupcakes components... to make the blue hue in the sugar, to create a sickly grey icing (including the splattered appearance on the icing by flicking a pastry brush), and the cupcake itself. 

Earl Grey is not a particularly strong tea unless you over brew it; Unfortunately, I feel the end result flavour profile was not as enticing as the other two. And of course, soft moist cupcakes with hard sugar is an interesting mix... you would need to remove the sugar glass and eat it prior or after. 

“Indus” ‘s barrier- Masala Chai and Orange Cupcake

The simplest of the 4 character cupcakes I’ve done (has flashbacks to fighting with food colouring for Sylvie’s... *shiver*) but... I’ll be honest.

Flavour wise, this is my favourite. I am a huge spice fan. 

Buttercream piped small peaks over the top, drizzled with a brown sugar caramel and fresh orange zest. I cooked the caramel further than I generally do to get a deeper colour, but also to create a harsher taste. Paired with the sweet icing, the light and refreshing orange, and... oof, that Chai tea... In the mouth, it starts as very harmonious and then BAM, the caramel hits you before basically melting among all the other flavours. 

I almost went a similar route with the sugar glass to represent the BARRIER epithet that Indus has... but I didn’t want to take away from Mera’s design by making them too a like. And because he’s such a softie, that’s why I went with the caramel instead. Both cupcakes are topped with some form of sugar: Mera’s being more dangerous and devastating in appearance while Indus’ is very simple and more inviting. 

I admit, I wasn’t expecting so many people to see and like what I’ve been doing. It’s both really inspiring and a bit scary. I’ve even gained a lot of followers WAH!! So I do hope to continue with the cast and make more; Which... means I need to finish watching Epithet Erased soon!! 

I know, watched the first episode on my own, then binged up to episode 4 with a friend... and I’ve been trying to hold off watching the rest because it’s just so much fun to watch it with friends!! 

I suppose I should inquire... is there any character in particular you would like to see next?? I do have ideas for Molly, been back and forth between two of them but I need to purchase the tools to get the appearance that I have in my mind. 

[hazelspacecadet]

She Ra - a full analysis

WARNING - THIS ANALYSIS CONTAINS MAAAAAJOR SPOILERS FOR THE ENTIRETY OF SHE RA!! 

“You look out for me, and I look out for you. Nothing really bad can happen as long as we have each other”

She Ra is a show about two people torn apart. It’s important to recognise that this multifaceted masterpiece centres entirely on the Catradora dynamic; Noelle herself has expressed that the show was always about those two, and in a broader sense much of the wider world in the She Ra universe can be seen as a complex manifestation of Adora and Catra’s ever changing bond. Adora is not a hero in the traditional sense, as everything about her character is designed to subvert and deconstruct expectations of the hero’s journey. She is a powerful, strong and determined fighter with healing powers, a morally stubborn and highly empathetic person raised in a genocidal regime, and she runs away from the only home and only exponent of love she has ever known because her internal moral compass is just so intense it overrides the truest bond she will ever feel, at least until external factors allow for reconciliation. 

But what defines, at a thematic level, the human interactions in She Ra is a cycle of abuse that begins with oppressive control - Horde Prime. He punishes the imperfections in Hordak to the extent that Hordak feels compelled to lash out, to prove himself powerful by any means. Horde Prime is an interesting villain because his rhetoric centres not around darkness, but light and purity. This is not only a more subversive type of manipulative language than is often seen by cartoon villains, but it clearly establishes Horde Prime as being a fundamental representation of abuse and its tendency to beat away at character traits deemed weak, anomalous, or more importantly unable to be controlled. Horde Prime needs control; he needs subservience and pure, untouched power, which is why he forms his empire around a hive mind. Hordak of course breaks the hive mind itself, but abuse is a parasitic thing, and controls Hordak’s deplorable actions on Etheria right from his first introduction, talking directly to Catra. But the cycle does not stop at Hordak; his monstrous coping methods cause subtler damage by affecting Shadow Weaver. She is an interesting character because unlike Hordak, she was shown to have independent agency in her harmful actions before finding her way to the Horde, but it is clear that the intense sensation of being cast out, before the Horde rescued her only to thrust her into a cycle of rage and exploitation, leads to the final stage of this particular cycle: Adora, and more importantly Catra.

The show makes it abundantly clear that Catra gets the short straw in interactions with Shadow Weaver; and not only that, but it is shown that Catra’s narrative of Adora being a neglectful, selfish pretend-hero is one instilled not by Adora, but Shadow Weaver and her often-times violent favouritism. Adora isn’t selfish or neglectful - her strong moral compass certainly isn’t perfect, and letting go of complete undirected empathy is something she learns in the conversation with Mara in season 5 (“you are worth more than what you can give to other people”) - but those traits are at odds to how Adora is presented, and in particular how her relationship with Catra is presented. Shadow Weaver neglects Catra, and does it to such an extent that Catra is forced into a mindset of breaking her bond with Adora over an injustice that was never her friend’s fault. Shadow Weaver’s manipulation is so powerful, it makes Catra believe that Adora’s protection, her deep-seated love, is malignant. That is abuse: it turns love into hate and protection into violence. 

In this cycle, this systematic abuse from Prime to Hordak to Shadow Weaver to Catra, there are two anomalies. They have to be anomalous, uncontrollable, natural, because this cycle begins with oppressive control, and therefore only two variables can violate that base injustice - love, and imperfection. From a meta-narrative sense, She Ra is a unique beast because characters do not simply have flaws for the sake of flaws, but those flaws are the direct reason for the eventual collapse of the show’s main antagonism. What breaks Prime is a kiss, and a mad scientist. The kiss is Adora and Catra displaying a desire for closeness that represents years of struggle against systematic abuse, abuse that has deliberately forced love to become hate, and that only when the cycle reaches its peak and the initial abuser makes a final bid for absolute control, can the true reconciliation begin. The mad scientist is of course Entrapta, whose powerful adoration of imperfection ultimately destroys Prime, or at least his preferred vessel. Abuse of the kind shown in She Ra cannot exist when people find beauty and joy in the things it seeks to eliminate, and Entrapta is exactly the anomaly needed to help break the cycle. Returning to the core of those two lovers, Catra finds her want for Adora, and it is reciprocated because the underlying love was always there, but the intent, the desire for closeness only became apparent when years of unnecessary hurt had been recognised and their true cause exposed: not each other, but the cycle.

Of course, abuse in the She Ra universe is only actively broken by one thing: love. I touched on this theme earlier when discussing abuse as the two are somewhat intertwined but love, in platonic and romantic forms, is so crucial to the functioning of She Ra’s characters and their motivations. Catra and Adora have always loved each other (they only express this at the climax because they must fight through abuse to find a shared desire), and this love is shown right from both the start of the show, and the first time we see them interact chronologically - in Promise. What’s interesting is we never know how they meet, or what they say to each other first, but instead the earliest canonical Catradora interaction is the promise itself: a dedication so strong it defines Catra’s actions years later on an alien ship as she saves a person she does not even claim to like. The show puts Catra and Adora’s love first, as that is the establishment of their truly meaningful connection, with other flashbacks and all of season 5 expanding upon that bond. We know that love breaks abuse because Horde Prime is abuse and he is defeated by a kiss, but what does that imply? 

The kiss, and therefore the confirmation of She Ra’s central love, carries with it a moral lesson, a message, that hurt and abuse can be overcome through the mutual reconciliation that comes with unconditional love. In the show, all kinds of love shown to be beneficial and non-toxic are unconditional: Catra can only want Adora when she accepts that Adora will always be morally upstanding and stubbornly empathetic, and Adora can only want Catra when she accepts that Catra defaults to self-hatred and pushing away, and only when both of these conditions are made meaningless by the force of attraction and belonging known as love, can the kiss be shown and the abuse broken. 

Love is not just shown between that central relationship, but throughout She Ra and its characters. Glimmer is a flawed and sometimes maligned character, but her importance to the show and its progression cannot be overstated, especially in season 5. On the ship in episodes 1 and 2, Catra needed something to hold onto. Torn from her home, powerless and very clearly unable to manipulate and fight Horde Prime like she could with Hordak, Catra’s only option became Glimmer. Their bond forms quickly and shakily, but what is so crucial about their interactions is that in order to reconcile with Adora, Catra needed to see someone like Glimmer, who had both made huge mistakes and at one point believed her own mistakes to be the right decision, completely and unconditionally forgive Adora and desire to be home with her. They share love for Adora, different kinds of love, but a strong connection and belonging that in the case of the open and empathetic Glimmer is very obvious. It’s also no accident that later on, during interactions in the expanded Best Friend Squad, Catra takes several social cues from Glimmer first, with Adora a trusted support. Catra is always going to care about Adora more than anything, but it takes the model example of Glimmer to show her how. 

But Adora is not just the subject of Catra’s attractions. As the main character, the dual figure around which the show is built both emotionally and plot-wise, she has a striking amount of agency, but also experiences a corruption of her truest desires at the hands of abuse. The abuse of Adora is subversive and difficult to spot, but it all comes down the pedestal that Shadow Weaver built for her, as well as her own innate morals and how those two factors, in Adora’s mind, prevented her from loving and caring for Catra in the right way. Throughout the show, Adora treats her own need to help others and her desire to be with the people she loves as mutually exclusive; even when Bow and Glimmer remind her that she is not alone, Adora has a penchant for going it alone, believing herself to be this chosen hero who must rescue the people of Etheria without reconciling with herself and her closest friends. In fact, the part of Adora that pushes people away in the name of heroism is not actually her, but instead the cycle of abuse exploiting her moral compass to fulfill corrupt desires that are not and never could be her own. Even the purported good guys do it, the First Ones making Adora believe that her path, her destiny, is to be a weapon. She fights this at the climax of season 4, but never comes to terms with it mentally until the conversation with Mara. And after it has all become hopeless, lost and Etheria is destined to burn away, Catra flips the script. Adora’s truest desire was Catra, but the abuse was too ingrained, the hurt too deep, for these desires to become reality, to be found within themselves. Only when Adora knows her blind heroism has lost, and therefore all to be lost, can Catra, whose arc has now culminated, save the universe. They both found not only their own destiny, but learnt to accept the intertwining of their lives as something that can be a force for good, a force for love. 

So to conclude, She Ra is not just about being torn apart, but in the end is about two girls fighting abuse as they learn to love each other, and eventually watching the patterns of abuse fade away as they express pure, unconditional love through a kiss that changes everything. 

“Don’t you get it? I love you. I always have.”

[xviicprc]

10 Favorite Characters

Tagged by @pinkafropuffs​ (girl this are so fun to do, thank you!) about my 10 favorite characters so here we go-!

(y’all are ready to see how basic i am?)

1- N (Pokemon)

When will he return from the war-

Ferriswheel shipping flashbacks because honestly? When will Pokemon give us a character as good as N again

2- Edward Elric (Fullmetal Alchemist)

Ah, Fullmetal is basically responsible for me being a weeb lol

While everyone else can do an analysis of his complexity, I simply will say Edward is the sort of character I love as protagonists of anime-

Love how he isn’t either too serious or too goofy. Hmm it’s hard to me to say what I like specifically about him lol. 

Maybe it’s just nostalgia

3- Edmond Dantes (Fate Grand Order)

Ah yes, the current husband of mine- discount Komaeda. 

By seeing my art you should realize how much i love him lol

4- Nanami Kiryuu (Revolutionary Girl Utena)

YOu see, normally I DESPISE characters like Nanami, even after they develop as characters since most of the time they end up being “mean because inferiority complex” HOWEVER Nanami doesn’t have that, she is great and she know��s it!

(Also most of the time, these types of characters aren’t really used comically- and I don’t mean in the sense of “Haha the bully girl got what she deserved!” but instead of this character getting themselves in comical situations)

But it’s the way she matures across the show what made her my favorite among the cast. I love the cast and the show as a whole- but if I had to pick one character among them, it’s Nanami.

5- Akihiko Sanada (Persona 3)

I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS-

But jokes aside Akihiko is my favorite character in Persona 3 (well....close tie with Shinjiro BUT).

He is just (lies on the floor) THE character I always romance because his route is just so cute and makes me feel warm and fuzzy having FEELINGS-

And I remember distincly rejecting his advances on accident and then realizing what I did and going “D:!!!!”

THis man right here was my REAL introduction to HAVING FEELINGS for anime men and I’ll never forgive HI-

6- Xion (Kingdom Hearts)

Shoutout to the firsts characters who I made deeper that the author intended.

If you ever have to fight agains me set it to Vector to the Heavens- if you have to avenge me set it to Another Side while you fight. 

Do you fucking know how I was at 12 years old?? No friends, no homework playing KH 358/2 days??? How much I got attached to Roxas and Xion as a lonely girl who was just discovering things about friendship?

so I’ll ramble on about my interpretations on them because i’ll make it as deep as i want-

The way in which they form a friendship related on both knowing about the keyblade and having no memories from their previous life and the way in which it all comes tumbling down thanks to things outside of their control and how much they try to stop it- 

The way Xion is willing to sacrifice herself for a greater good fully knowing that what the Organization is doing is bad and would endanger the worlds at large and how she, on her own accord, chooses to return her memories to sora even if it means dissapearing from the memories from everyone and truly dying in every sense of the world- all while having to run away from the organization because she would drain all the life from roxas because that was how she was created as a puppet-!

And the final clash! the way in which xion uses all of her power left to fight against the control of the organization because she wants roxas to slay her because she would rather die and lend her power to roxas instead of killing him and being used by the organization!

The way that final fight got integrated into the story! how she warns roxas when she will attack, or how she screams at him “STOP HOLDING BACK!” as her last efforts as an individual hanging to the remnants of their bond-!

As an extra note I’m so glad they didnt “end up together”- it was a good showcase of two teens who had a solid friendship that didn’t need to be turned into a romance because they already love eachother as friends!!!

So as you can see i have a lot of feelings for Xion-

7- Kishinami Hakuno (Fate/Extra)

SHOUTOUT to my favorite protagonist in the Fate Franchise she is so good and I just,,,,,,,,,love her?????

(if you pick Male Hakuno you are absolutely invalid)

So I completly love how she ends up inderectly being a subversion of the “amnesiac character self insert” because she NEEDS to start in a black slate for her to grow.

Love how sassy she can be in the dialouge options and SHE ALLOWED SABER ARCHER AND CASTER TO GROW AS PEOPLE and-

Play Fate/Extra

8-Kcalb (The Gray Garden)

He is so good :c when will he return from the hiatus.

Honestly he is the best character in the game and I love his interactions with Etihw and honestly he defined what 14 year old me loves in character design. AESTHETICS

9-Sonic (Sonic the Hedgehog)

Of Course I had to add the one who started this mess.

Sonic the Hedgehog deserves a better writting team than the one he has! SONIC’S CHARACTER PEAKED IN THE FICKUGGN SIDE GAME SONIC AND THE BLACK KNIGHT BUT EVERYONE IS LIKE “HAHA WHAT A BAD RETELLING OF ARTHURIANA”-

So anyways- Sonic the Hedgehog in the GOOD games with story is someone who never gives up no matter how hard or grim everything may seem, and how he shows kindness to those who needs it, who does what HE feels is the right thing, no matter what everyone else may say and maybe I’m reading too deep but this lil fucker whas the first videogame I ever *emulated* owned and had been a part of my childhood since I learned what the Internet was- I pirated the entire anime and took a REAL liking to drawing thanks to him.

Everyone out there in early 2010 tracing anime while I traced Sonic X screenshots lol

10-Steven Quartz Universe (Steven Universe)

I have a lot of feelings for Steven Universe as a show- and especially his protagonist.

When the show started everyone complained how annoying Steven was- but I never found him annoying? I really like how he has “traditionally femenine” traits and powers (healing, shielding, crying a lot) and isn’t shamed for it? The show has MANY problems but it I LOVE it.

And, since the start of the series I liked Steven, I love how he develops in the show, and honestly so many moments I saw myself in him- and then came Steven Universe Future which he explores his trauma after the events of the series- just everything about him just hit’s home- even more than I expected (the cactus Steven-)

How Steven goes from viewing the Gems as these all knowing powerful mother figures- and how he feels as if he has to live up to their expectations, and the impossible barrier set up by his mother at the start of the series-

(How later he view’s himself as a fraud- and how he doesn’t “pay the consequenses” and he is just “as bad as his mother”- the internalized self hatred, his drifting friends and represed trauma- I’m glad the show does this- I don’t think I would have self reflected as much as I did without this show)

Steven Universe is a show I hold close to my heart, so do I with it’s protagonist.

 Haha I don’t feel like tagging people after that lol

[songofadaydream]

my real-time thoughts on rocketman the 4th time I’ve seen it in total and 2nd time this week, let’s go bois *very long post warning*

fair warning I just finished jojo rabbit less than an hour ago and it was way more emotional than I expected, so she’s probably going to be an emotional wreck tonight ladies!! :)) also, I will be pausing the movie throughout! just wanted to let you know

starting the night out right with some lay’s salt and vinegar chips and a lush face mask

not even a part of the movie but when the studio logos come on a version of goodbye yellow brick road and just *french kiss*

it’s starting and I am here for it!!

taron comes looking like an icon and a snack. actually, a whole meal. the heart glasses omggg

“how long’s this gonna take.” “that’s really up to you.”

i never noticed this before but taron stares right into the camera as he introduces himself

“my name is elton hercules john. and I’m an alcoholic. and a cocaine addict. and a sex addict. and a bulimic. i’m also a shopaholic who was problems with weed, prescription drugs, and anger management.”

“well my dealer was out of town I thought this seemed like a good alternative,”

“and I wanted to get better.”

um the transition into the full on musical number of the bitch is back.

this tiny little child actor playing elton saying bitch 10 million times. props to his parents for letting him do that.

um also his riffs??

just the way his mom says, “love to.”

god his dad is a DOUCHE

“when are you going to hug me”🥺🥺

the flashlight conducting scene!! they’re playing rocketman and it’s so beautiful and cute!! whe lil reggie/elton gets on the mini piano oh my god

when he looks at his mom’s fashion magazines...gay fashion icon beginnings...

*looks up* “can we go home,”

he starts playing his teacher’s song and she’s just like 😦😦

idk if this is an unpopular opinion but I don’t really like the I want love scene. I just don’t really like the switching of singer, the arrangement, and tempo. just my opinion though :/ also that’s the only weak scene of this movie I think

elton’s grandmother appreciation post send tweet

that last I want love though.

when his mom is clearly getting it on in a car and her date is like, “I’m..,,..a friend of.,.,,..your mum’s,.,,”

his dad leaves. heartbreaking!

when he wipes the tear away...

“i discovered records. and rock and roll :)”

playing classical music with an elvis presley haircut is an aesthetic no I don’t take criticism

“excuse me. you can’t put that there,” “why not,” “it’ll get knocked off.”

when he transforms into teenage elton and an amazing musical/dance number starts

that face taron makes when the door shuts on the car

“it’s not just your name. you gotta kill the person you were born to be in order to become the person you wanna be.”

that kiss with one of the band members is so hot.

peeing in a bottle in disgusting I’m sorry.

“what’d you say your name was again?” “elton.” “elton. elton what.” “john. elton john.”

ray is cute af. also the transcendental moment when he hands elton the envelope with bernie’s lyrics in it.

“one frothy coffee, no froth.”

jamie is so cute what the heckkkk

singing streets of loredo in a cafe is so wholesome and adorable

holy sHIT BORDER SONG IS STARTING

bernie and elton are literally so cute together as friends omg

also completely digging these like early 70s silk scarf things.

“yeah I could just take those songs and leave if you like,”

“what about the fact that you’re a f*g...your little friend here...is a homosexual.”

bernie not caring whether or not elton is is gay is Peak Pure ™

“oH fUcK”

when they stumble home drunk. the cuteness I can’t.

“you are a ssshhHHITT hot piano player, you have an aMAZING voice, and I’m telling you there is something special that happens...when you sing our songs.”

the way the two handle elton’s leaning in for a kiss is SO GOOD and I could write an entire essay on it. “we became inseparable after that. the brother I never had.”

“anyway I took his advice. told arabella. she took it quite well actually,” *cut to her throwing his piano out the window* “sHe KiLlEd mY pIaNo”

your song and everything about that scene is perfection. that’s all I have to say.

“you can’t just sPRING the troubadour on me.”

“put on a great

fucking

show. and just don’t kill yourself with drugs?”

amoreena is so good how didn’t I realize this until now!

doug flirting w/bernie kills me every time.

“ooh dude. what the hell’re you wearing?”

“my stage gear.”

*bernie stumbles in drunk* “reggie! reggie reggie. neil diamond is at the bar he’s talkin to leon russell and half the fuckin beach boys eh??”

“jesus sHIT bernie,”

that little, “well come on then,” after being yelled by bernie & ray

“please welcome all the way from london, england...”

ELTON JOHN

when he starts singing it’s like the smoothest molasses ever and I am HERE for it.

there’s an interview where taron says, and I quote, “those dungarees made my ass look massive” wholeheartedly agree my guy. but in best way possible

when they start floating

elton’s jacket and the magic that is the entirety of tiny dancer <3 <3

there’s a whole ass bed in a tipi?? what the hell

“so you like the songs then?” “not quite as much as the singer,” OH SHIT THE GAY TENSION

“there are moments in a rockstar’s life that defines who he is...and it’s going to be a wild ride,”

it’s a weird scene to like but I really love the take me to the pilot love scene. the song is so good and perfect for that moment, and they seem genuinely attracted to each other (even though john ends up being a huge dick later)

the way he takes the glasses off

the lil race to get their pants off is weird but it works

elton just seems so happy and content at the end and it’s so refreshing.

when he gets the shoes and the glasses <3

he looks so happy and fulfilled my little boy

why is it so cute when he and Kiki record don’t go breaking my heart

elton stops it the SECOND he sees John oh my goddd

kiki’s little “ough” when she sees john

“elton what’s going on are we going again or should we go for a pint,” *sees john walk into the closet* “yeah no yeah you should go for a pint”

HONKY CAT IS ONE OF IF NOT THE BEST SCENES/SONGS IN THE ENTIRE FILM THERE I SAID IT

cocaine induced head butt of a soccer ball is iconic

why did they have to get rid of rayyyy

the, “best of luck to you elton,” is so bitter yet genuinely well-wishing??

“welp...that was *absolutely* horrible,” is such a mood

the scene where he goes to come out to his dad is so incredibly heartbreaking, especially when it cuts to him in rehab.

taron deserves an oscar just for throwing that chair alone.

“what have you got to do the get a fucking drink around here, eh?” and then he takes a swig from a bottle in the car with john

when he calls his mom to come out. that shit hurts.

“i just hope you realize you’re choosing a life of being alone forever...you’ll never be loved properly.” he opens his mouth. it’s so awful guys. and then he fucking gets punched by john what an absolute dick.

“real love’s hard to come by. so you find a way to cope without it.”

the scene that comes right after that when he’s getting ready for his show and snorts cocaine and takes a swig of a drink really shows how far off the deep end he had gone. it’s heartbreaking, really.

“PEOPLE DON’T PAY TO SEE rEgInALd dWiGhT THEY PAY TO SEE ELTON JOHN. DON’T EVER TELL ME HOW TO DO MY FUCKING JOB.” “WRITE THE FUCKING LYRICS, BERNIE. LET ME DEAL WITH THE REST,” “i’m sorry,” “i know.”

that headdress tho

ok but pinball wizard absolutely slaps and so does the montage with all of his changing outfits

oh my god the drag queen in his room though

NONONONO JOHN IS LITERALLY RIGHT THERE FUCKING CHEATING ON HIM IT IS NOT OKAY.

what an inconvenient time for his mom to waltz in

“and what a shy little boy you were! look at you now.”

“mum you’re ON my GOWN,”

i wish i were as cool as bernie getting out of that car and coming inside

“yEaGhHhH...go get a lil drink. yehyeh,”

get ready for one of the most impactful scenes of 2019 if not the 2010s ladies

“FOR MY NEXT TRICK i’m gonna fucking kill myself.”

again, I could write an entire essay on this but the fact that he is literally hitting rock bottom with his childhood self down there is so impactful and powerful and one of the greatest artistic choices they made in this film. also the cinematography is gorgeous.

and oh, by the way, taron actually performed this underwater. no cgi or special effects. where is his oscar.

john is a dick to him on the stretcher but bernie looks so genuinely concerned for his friend and I love that.

it is absolutely gut wrenching when they pump his stomach.

THE CINEMATOGRAPHY AND ANGLES AND SILHOUETTES WHEN IT GETS TO THE BIG CHORUS PART IS SO SO SO INCREDIBLY GOOD AND AMAZING AND I WILL NEVER, EVER GET OVER IT.

the nurses getting him ready for what was probably his biggest/most iconic performance to date is something so incredible, and such a great choice cinematically, story wise, and really emotion wise too. he was at his absolute rock bottom and did one of if not the most iconic performance a little over 24hrs later, and I think this little part really helps to illustrate that.

taron actually hit that baseball and I’m so proud of him for it.

the liftoff is so great. and then it cuts to him in a plane with smoke on his head which just. ugh.

hot take: elton’s addiction wouldn’t have gotten so bad if he had just gone to bernie’s fucking ranch with him

THE QUEEN OUTFIT IS SO ICONIC IM SORRY

also if this movie doesn’t win the goddamn best costume design I swear to god.

YES BENNIE AND THE JETSSSSS

this is also such a great scene as well omg.

when he flashbacks to his childhood and difficult and also great moments in his life during this sequence. that hit hard.

i feel like no one talks about taron’s arms enough? they as thiccc as his thighs why y’all sleeping on them

“You signed a contract with me years ago, so I’ll still be collecting my 20% long after you’ve killed yourself.” that’s cold as hell.

when he throws that glass at the door. and then victim of love starts playing straight afterwards UGH dexter fletcher you need to STOP and CALM DOWN

listen I don’t know elton was thinking and/or feeling in terms of life and his sexuality when he decided to marry renata but can we talk about his wedding outfit?? wtffff it’s so gay and if you don’t see it you’re blind.

the look his mom gives him I’m DEAD

they literally had separate rooms this was not a normal marriage. the breakfast scene is so sad though.

“did being married make you happy?” “not really, I’m gay.” hands down one of the most iconic lines in the entire movie.

why does he have sperm on this firework suit coat.

“you know I am so sick of running away from who I am.”

the way his voice wavers and cracks is not okay. and neither is his mom twisting everything around so that she’s made out to be the victim. and don’t cry in the bathroom elton please buddy. you’ll be okay.

“campaign to kill yourself is going well, eh?”

“when did you give up? if you don’t care about yourself how can you expect anyone else to...it’s not weak to ask for help.”

goodbye yellow brick road is such a beautiful song and scene and why didn’t we get Jamie to sing more I mean come on he does so incredibly well in this scene.

also I didn’t really realize that they flipped a few verses around for the movie. and elton yelling and screaming at bernie as he leaves is so powerful.

elton yelling at himself.

this is also when he has a heart attack?? chest infection?? I don’t really know but he falls down the stairs and Mr. Dick Manager John makes him continue to perform.

and there he is in the first scene’s costume. singing the rest of yellow brick road.

and there he goes. off to rehab. a full circle moment. good for him for finally taking control of his life and addictions.

“yeah but I started acting like a c*nt in 1975. I just forgot to stop.”

“maybe I should’ve tried to be more ordinary.” his grandmother walks in. “he was never ordinary.” my. heart. can. not. take. this.

this next scene where he talks to everyone in his mind is incredibly powerful and I will shout it from the rooftops until the end of time.

“my problem is that I believed you loved me. and you’re incapable of it.” the SHADE

“actually I think I’m okay with strange.”

BERNIE COMES IN MY LOVE

“bernie...I never told you how much I need you.” shit fam here comes the waterworks

“you just need to remember who you are. and be okay with it.”

and then his childhood self comes in. “I haven’t been reggie Dwight for years.” “when are you going to hug me.” he engulfs his young self in a hug. this is one of the best moments of the film and I am now full on crying.

I can’t get over how wholesome bernie’s visit is with Elton. the sweetest thing ever.

“you’re not scared you’re not good without it, you’re scared to feel again...this is the part you gotta do on your own. these...need music”

“thank you bernie.” “you’re my brother.” <3

and then he finally sits down to write again. and it’s pure magic.

I’m still standing is a a feat of what he’s been through the entire movie. finally, he’s sober, he’s accepting of himself/his sexuality, and is getting to a better place. plus, it mirrors the original music video, and is everything I’ve ever needed and more. *the* perfect scene and song to end upon.

he’s so happy at the end. and then the epilogue starts and says he’s been sober for 28 years and counting, set up an aids charity, still writes with bernie, met his husband David 25 years ago and is finally loved properly (rip my heart out of my chest, why don’t you), has two sons and is retiring from touring. and and the I’m gonna love me again plays with him and taron and it’s just such a perfect song to end, and I can’t.

so. those are my thought while watching rocketman for the 4th time in total, 2nd time this week. sorry that’s it’s so long. I just love this film so much. anyways, it’s almost 2am and I’m an emotional wreck. I’m gonna go cry and go to bed now. thanks for making it this far. :) <3

[boglog]

HILL HOUSE NOTES !!

Objectively speaking, I like the show as a weird crossover between Transparent and American Horror Story but there are always some cons :/ One thing I will say is that I find it hard to review horror bc I'm too busy swimming in cortisol to notice plot holes but I watched the scary scenes w subtitles and no audio and that will have to do!!!

Cons:

The diologue is occasionally awful.

Scratch that it's terrible and the more the show goes on the more it nears Grey's Anatomy levels of nauseating

Firstly, there are way too many name drops esp when there are only two characters in the room, sometimes even one sentence after another, it's exhausting.

i.e. 'Stay right here, honey. I'm going to talk to the police now sweetie, I'll be right back.' // 'You eat people, Steve. You are a parasite, Steve.'

Second of all, 'Don't do that ever again. Don't do that. Where were you? I thought the house thingy got you.' kids don't talk like this. I know irl children tend to imitate the adults around them but the sheer amount of stock cliches these child actors are required to say is incredible

And honestly overall there's too much talking period. There are dozens of scenes where a character monologues for almost five minutes!!!!

I loved mind doppelgänger Leigh's speech but really let's tally it up: we've got Mrs Dudley's monologue, Olivia monologues a few times, Theo's monologue, Luke 2 or three monologues, one from Shirley, Hugh is not much of a talker so thank god they were consistent. And of course a lot of these are important to the story and even close to entertaining (see also: Nell yelling at Steve) but it's way too much and anything actually significant is diluted in this deluge of info-dump-y speeches

Why god??? Why?

Like this is television not radio but I guess it's another case of Forced Diegesis when summarising w flashbacks would actually be way easier on my psyche but Tacky for these Kinematic Auteurs

I would've liked a more in depth exploration of Olivia and her childhood experiences of paranormal tragedy to give us a better context for her morally grey slip into an evil mother

Still somewhat peeved at how, bc of supernatural instinct, we can justify Theo and CPS taking a child away from her home. Obviously the show can't waste so much time on what's only supposed to be a quick detour into Theo's character and it works within the world of the show given that the guy did confess but portrayals of police, first responders, social workers, ad nauseum making snap descisions like that is Not Good for people's real world perception of their rights. Just sayin.

Maybe a scene where Steve and Hugh apologise for being garbage humans or something idk that would've been nice

This show has many layers and interpretations which could either skew towards clever ambiguity or clumsy indescision and while I'm leaning toward the former, I will say it does go a little all over the place for me.

Are the Crains' superpowers genetic, from their mother? Did it come from the house? Why is the house was so vindictive? What does it want? Or is it more symbolic of the emptiness inside the characters? Why is Olivia decidedly an over controlling mother but Nell is an innocent? Is really the only thing Steve had to do to save his marriage was reverse the vasectomy? Nell died of her own paradoxical haunting that began when she was six so was the cause ultimately a sadness within herself before the house of strictly the house's pull?

Like it's v unclear (probably deliberately) wether or not the story was Psychosis All Along or it was the house's vendetta or bc the Crains specifically are a supernatural mutant family

We never find out what Nell does for a living and I'm curious

Finally: it's really white sometimes. Like. Painfully white. Granted, the Crains come close to my favourite kind of white person, the quirky dysfunctional family of adult children scattered all over the country who only reunite at their dead sister's funeral. Still, the POC tally up to two love interests (one of which DIES), one cop, one naïve widow, and one poor daughter-less foster parent. One could argue only a middle class white family would stay in a haunted house for so long ://

Pros

The show juggles seven characters and two plots flawlessly. Each character is recognisable w a distinct personality after about only two episodes, the nonlinear structure as we alternate between the present day frame story and the main plot in flashbacks before ultimately converging when the family reunites at the house for the last time is not only clear but parses its information in way that's not only not confusing but strengthens the tension and dread. Even while they show the flashbacks' ending (w Olivia and later Nell's death) as well as the epilogue, the build up still feels entirely justified. This is peak plotting right there.

Furthermore, Nell's ghost still manages to be in the spotlight with some jumpscares even after we know who she is

My soul pretty much left my body when Nell's ghost attempts to bond w her sisters via screaming as they argue in the car

A quintessential microcosm of the show's representation of time and memory is Nell's final speech: whimsically disjointed at first, poignant and clear by the end

It's a horror show that is completely dedicated to its characters (and I'm sure some of you already know my love of dysfunctional families) and centres around human themes of connection, mourning, and trauma and the necessity of vulnerability and letting go in order to live a full life. That's very rare in horror where we usually get gratuitous gore with a small spattering of sentimental scenes to further the gore.

Olivia's Forever House served as an excellent symbol for her need to control, the house's monicker implying her fear of change.

An incomplete but not bad portrayal of trauma, a decent addition to the topical and ever-expanding mental illness discourse

Also ft. meta commentary on writers

In the beginning, Olivia really was portrayed as a concerned mother who was always trying to be considerate of her children's emotional well-being despite her occasional snaps. One has to wonder wether her slip into an irrational need to control might reflect society's paradoxically oppressive expectations of motherhood: to have absolute control of your children while also being a benevolent saviour to them 24/7. I mean in all fairness to Olivia, she was working and raising 5 kids. I'd lose my marbles too.

Or maybe I'm giving the creators too much credit and they were only angling for an Other Mother thing. I like this Foucaultian nihilism though so we're gonna go w that.

The show's acknowledgment of Useless Dad and Entitled Eldest Son syndrome.

Spat my tea when doppelgänger Leigh ripped Steve a new one, and since she's a representation of his psyche maybe that means that Steve himself has gained some self awareness. (He should still... apologise to his family....)

I mean they were really spot-on with how birth order family drama goes.

Human portrayal of a lesbian as an adult and a child! As tumblr user Lesbeet said, this is very rare and deftly done!

Theo doing literally anything

Shirl is p adorable

Theo and Shirl: the comedy duo we absolutely need in our lives

Arthur and Nell's romance is joining Up's prologue in the golden vault of world's greatest ten minute love montages. (Both of which ended in tragédie. ☹️)

Shirl's AU dream sequence, which unlike the others, presents us with an extramarital faux pas that we were not previously aware of, manages to seem totally appropriate for her character

The set and costume design are perfect for the primordial fear of the unknown aesthetic the show was going for. Fairy flappers! Gothic stairwells! Punk rock leather gloves! A McMansion that doubles as a funeral home! Motels! A curvilinear LA mansion! The absolutely insane brutalist million dollar rehab centre! Oh boy!!!

Accurate mortician portrayal: they really do gotta wire the corpses' mouths shut. Those damn chatty dead people.

Tldr:

Diologue is lengthy and cheesy while the characters are Too White. The rare portrayals of POC and how social services work were lacklustre. 👎

The show's incredible ambition and dedication to its characters and themes of trauma, dysfunctional family relationships, and the consequences of coping via trying to control your life is amazing. Theo, especially, is amazing. It's a very goth show with clinically depressed ghosts.👍

[ralfstrashcan]

3x07 Reaction / Commentary

I'm commenting on the gory parts of this episode as well. There will be screen shots. Consider yourself warned.

What happened to Jace's Dramatic Coat?!

I liked their fight a lot, tho I felt like there were short pause moments were they just stared at each other significantly.

I broke out into completely inappropriate laughter at this, because, man, the way she falls down. Like a loaf of bread. That's not normal!

Only seconds later though the laughter died in my throat because what. When Jace looks down the edge of the building he sees this

and when Clary falls down she lands here

just what. That's not even remotely the same location and they moved like three inches from where Jace looked over the building during their fight. Are you serious.

May I ask where Clary's Anti-Broken-Neck-Rune is?

And you wonder why you're considered problematic? Probably because of your attitude. Just a guess tho.

............what. What. Did I understand that right? He makes Maia steal the blood from the Hunter's Moon which could easily loose her her job? And then bring it to him as if she's some delivery service? What the hell, Simon?! He can't even pick his stolen food up himself?! Yeah, wow. What an incredible dick move. But heyyyyyy look, it's provoking a Kyle-Maia-Confrontation so it was probably Plot Convenience?!

Wow that's the first thing I've heard from Simon in this Scene that I can wholeheartedly agree with. Sorry, I normally like Simon, but what is wrong with him.

Okay, that's a dirty lie, because in case she didn't fall down that building with her phone already in her hand (which she didn't) she must have somehow gotten it out and dialed Simon. So she could at least move her left hand. In that case, wouldn't it have been a smarter decision to get her stele and active her Healing Rune, which is at the side of her neck, so easily accessible?! Priorities, man.

Now would be a good time to get her stele instead of uselessly petting her hair, which, while certainly nice and reassuring is doing nothing against the excruciating pain she's feeling. Pri-or-i-ties.

Also, now that I think about it, shouldn't Magnus have been close behind her, probably following Jace as well? Why would she call Simon, who could be the other side of town when she knew for a fact that Magnus was, like, five meters away?

Wow, you look kinda smug and happy about that.

“So you've finally decided to tell the truth? Thanks for waiting til the most inconvenient and absolutely last moment to do that.”

That's it, that's the Show.

“No, that was a different wish. The one and only other wish is still unused.”

Wonderful Scene, wonderful acting, wonderful everything. I honestly expected him to go with a heartfelt Thank You, so seeing him actually hug Clary was even more powerful (and kinda reminiscent of 1x13, oh the good bad old times). But why were Magnus and Izzy so surprised? Especially Izzy should know how much Alec loves Jace, so why would he punish someone for saving him? Yeah, Clary broke The Rules big time, but does Izzy (and Magnus) actually expect Alec to chose The Rules over the life of his parabatai, or the life of any of his loved ones? Yes, Alec trusts and believes the System to a certain degree, but his family will always come first. If even I gathered that from watching the Show, then Izzy and Magnus, who live in the Show, should know that even more so. That's the only detail that I didn't like, I would have wished for them to maybe smile and look heart warmed instead of surprised. (And besides, even if Alec had decided to toss Clary in the Guard, it would be stupid to do it right away. She's a capable Shadowhunter with a personal tie to Jace, she could be useful in getting him back. Locking her up now, before they got Jace back, would be irrational and Alec isn't stupid ;) )

“Excuse you, dude, I was just chillin', havin' some downtime and enjoying my red wine, I don't think I'll interrupt that and get up now who do you think you are and anyway where's my gf.”

Damn, for a moment I hoped she'd pull her gun and be all 'Your pesky possession ain't a match for me, I'm a minor character with more skillzZ than your average background actor' so when she just answered “My mother” that hit me unexpected and hard. Poor Ollie. Also I think the fact that Lilith asks at all is a nice, subtle way to show that the mundanes aren't just a means to an end, I mean they are, but she doesn't disregard them as if they're nothing.

Important Questions:

1) Notice those candlestands in the background? Aren't those the same ones as in the Institute's courtyard?

Do they shop in the same decoration store I need answers!!

2) What do all the disciples eat, like, does Lilith order a giant family pizza or something every day?

I don't mean to be rude, but why isn't she bleeding out? That cut is clearly still open and leaking blood.

I fail to see how that second statement is a logical consequence of the first. Also, I guess this Greater Demon Cage Thing didn't make it into the field because Greater Demons are like, super rare and barely ever leave their home dimension. Wouldn't it be more practical do construct a Shax Demon Cage? Shadowhunter Lives could be so much easier. Just place all the Cages around the city, empty them every day, and chill the rest of the time. Shadowhunters should invest in that.

When I saw this moment in the Sneak Peak, ripped out of context, I thought he was talking about their fight and when it became clear he wasn't I was kinda disappointed.

I like to interpret the way Magnus is looking as one of those moments when you realize how amazing the person standing in front of you is.

At first I found it a little odd that Alec just didn't comment on this statement until I realized that it was because he'd do the exact same thing. Blowing-up-the-ground-you-stand-on-to-make-something-right doesn't seem to be an entirely Alec exclusive trait.

FINALLY A HUG IT'S ONLY BEEN  S E V E N  EPISODES

Also, notice this real handy groundplan on the wall? Very convenient when an enemy breaks into the Institute, he can immediately find the way to the place he wants to reach!

“I was wrong. I said things I shouldn't have.”

Is that a mistake in the Scene Execution because I think Alec accidentally said the lines that were designed for Magnus. (Am I bitter? Yes.)

Edit: After rewatching I can at least interpret Magnus's reaction to Alec's line

as contrition because he knows that he should have apologized instead of Alec.

Okay, good. Except no. This is the absolute flimsiest way there is to apologize, and I truly hope this isn't the resolution of the fight, because then I'll be seriously miffed. Like, would Magnus have apologized if Alec hadn't brought the topic up and apologized (entirely unnecessarily in my eyes) first? We'll never know, and honestly, I kinda doubt it. Magnus dealing-with-conflicts-behavior is something I have serious issues with, but I won't go off on a tangent about that now. At least that hug was satisfyingly lengthy... probably to make up for the previous SIX EPISODES without a hug.

Wtf it is clearly daytime outside. Also, rude. Maybe she was asleep?!

Damn where can I buy those earrings?!

Yeah those were my thoughts exactly.

First I thought 'you gotta be kidding me, she just told you she's scared of the ocean and you know her for ninety seconds, presumptuous much?!' but the fact that he walked away after she told him No mitigated it and put it back in okay-flirting-territory (I personally still wouldn't have liked it, but I wouldn't label it pushy per se, and Maia clearly thought it was an acceptable flirty thing to say, if her grin is any indication). Charlie could learn from him. (Except he can't because he's dumb.)

Whaaaaaat they burried him in Alicante? I thought they would put his skeleton somewhere in the City of Bones where all the disgraced Shadowhunters are? Or do I remember that wrong??

...............yeah well. That wasn't really impressive, since Jonathan's parentage wasn't a secret to begin with and she personally told him about it in 3x04. Maybe she has really low expectations of his memory??

SOMEBODY WRITE ME A FICLET ABOUT THIS PLEASE. (Seriously.)

I was amused by this, but I'm with Luke on this one.

lol did people report that to the police? “911, it's not an emergency, but I just saw a bunch of weird people walking down the street with vacant looks in their eyes... no, they weren't staring at their phones, that's why it was so weird.... hello? officer?” Seriously. Also, what were they doing loitering around the place instead of standing at attention in Lilith's weird altar lair? Seems like she didn't order those family pizzas after all and they had to fend for themselves. Yikes, Lilith.

What does that mean, 'inaudible'? Are you a vampire or not, Simon?!

You can say what you want about Shadowhunters, but this looks really picturesque.

I mean, the Stamina Rune I understand, but why is there an Awareness Rune on the wall? Is this wall extra aware of what's happening in Imogen's office? Is this advanced Clave Espionage Technique?? (FunFact: On first glance I thought it was a Nourishment Rune and that made even less sense lol.)

Did the Runes always glitter like that? If so I never noticed before. It's pretty.

The I'm-Seconds-before-a-Dramatic-Flashback-Face.

Sorry, but that is just dumb. I get that they're super elite, but their main goal is to help, right? So moving off a case you're not able to handle is like, logical? So this oath is kinda stupid if it forces you to stay in a position where you can't help and therefore elevate the risk of your Downworlder Charge screwing up? In what universe does that make sense?

Oh dear, Alec, I hope for all of your sakes that you have improved your diversion stall small talk technique since 3x02. I doubt Consul Penhallow has many antique pots displayed in her Office.

Okay, it made sense that he'd talk about the position from 3x01 and I'm really glad she already offered it to someone else, because for a second there I was scared that now he'd have to move to Idris, and all to cover up a theft.

I know it's not funny, but I laughed out loud at that. That sassy hand flick. This is exactly how blaming yourself works – against all reason and logic.

Gratuitous Catarina Cameo is much appreciated. Also I think it amusing – though a little weird – that warlocks have a really strange relation to age, like, a 40 year old warlock is almost a kid, while you'd probably say a 40 year old Mundane or Werwolf should be able to handle himself easily (and a 40 year old Shadowhunter is already antique).

...............so you mean to tell me they're just now tracking one of the possessed by scent? Why the hell didn't they already do that with the first one, that Tim Patrick Dempsey guy? Because they knew where he lived (and that he passed by his home in possessed state, to complete his sacrifice), and they probably could have easily obtained some laundry to help referencing his scent.

Wow, Luke, you're thinking of this real early. Clearly your plan to take Simon along was well thought-out, since you seem to know so much about the mark on his forehead.

I mean, technically not because the possession changed their cells from human to demonic but..... okay, I'm shutting up.

You should have that on a T-Shirt, Simon.

Okay, so I get that at some point Simon had to learn that Luke was behind that whole Praetor Thing, but, Timing. Why would they start conversationally talking about that when they're three feet away from entering the Lion's Lilith's den? Srsly.

“I had a guy helping me figure it out. He was like my supernatural life coach.” “Help? All they've done was drop a bomb on the best thing I've going for me right now. [...] They sent Maia's scumbag ex.” Okay, maybe I'm stupid and just don't get it, but if Simon's not referring to Kyle with his first statement then I really have no idea who else he could be talking about. And if he is talking about Kyle in both his statements..... whiplash much? Dude, could you stick to one opinion for more than five seconds? What the hell?

“Having Flashbacks. Severe Case, already the second Attack in under half an hour.”

Okay, so I guess this Flashback is designed to make me hate Kyle, but it doesn't. First off, I don't really understand where their future planning conflict even is because it's not like they were gonna move to Fiji in the next five days, the fact that Kyle said he'd work his ass (arse, sorry) off to make it happen means that they still need a lot of money to make it happen. So Maia can make her degree in the time he needs to get that money, right? And with a degree like hers Fiji probably isn't the badest place to find work? And even if Maia thought Fiji was just a dream this is clearly important to Kyle and she doesn't seem to hate the idea itself, she just thought it wasn't in the realm of possibility. She said she wants a life 'here, where she can go to school' so the way I see it her priority is the education and not Jersey itself. If they'd postponed the Fiji plans until after her graduation this could have easily worked.

Second off, Kyle losing his shit was because of the first effects of the bite. This is in no way an excuse for his yelling, but it's an explanation, implying that he doesn't normally act so douche-y. And Kyle did apologize immediately after (tho in my personal opinion he could have apologized a li'l more enthusiastic.) Also, friendly reminder that Simon didn't go to see a doctor after he drank from Camille's blood and had some seriously unsettling side effects. And Kyle was 'just' having mood swings while Simon was having hallucinations, so. Out of the two of them Simon had a more solid reason to see a doctor. My point: I don't think Kyle can be faulted for not seeing a doctor... besides, I don't think a Mundane Doctor could have helped him / recognized that he was turned into a werewolf anyway. (I'm just assuming that he hasn't turned yet since it's been weeks, not a month since he's received the scratch.)

The one thing I'll concede is that it's totally not Kyle's call if Maia goes to the college or not. Like, what even. Tho the way Maia reacts makes it pretty clear to me that she doesn't even think he actually means that, that he could dictate what she does with her life. She doesn't react to his statement at all and is more focused on what brought on this outburst. The way I see it she sensed that he is somehow out of his mind because in his right mind he would never say or think something like that. So instead of getting worked up about something she knows will be irrelevant in the end anyway she tries to get to the bottom of the real problem. Sidenote: Even without that whole werewolf bite business going on... Maia just more or less said to Kyle's face that his life plan for the future is a foolish fantasy. I can't imagine anybody would be pleased to hear that. Again, this is not an excuse for his behavior but an explanation, to make sense of why he snaps.

Why did she order those Spring Rolls if she didn't wanna eat them?

Did you mean: Hermione?

HOW?! And why are Shadowhunter Security Systems so ridiculously easy to hack? First Imogen, then Jonathan, then Raj, now Izzy.... it's getting ridiculous. Like the dungeons in Merlin. Everybody escapes them.

Also, I totally feel cheated out of the Alec-Penhallow-Interaction. Like, for Clary and Izzy there obviously passed some time, a few hours at least if the lightning is to be believed. What did Alec do that whole time? Stand awkwardly in the hallway with her and her lackey?

Which opportunity if he came to Alicante specifically to do this.

...........................you mean like the totally random spontaneous totally unmonitored visit Jace and Clary paid that same Cemetery in 3x01. You have got to be kidding me. (Edit: I honestly thought she was bullshitting to buy time and wondered why she would go with something so ridiculous, but later events show that she actually wasn't, because why else would Jace take her finger? As a souvenir?)

Okay, so Imogen is a good liar, but subtlety isn't her strong suit. Srsly, the way she was oogling that weapons rack.

WTF did I just watch?!?!?!??!?!??!?!??!?1ß1ßß139ß40utaoiöesjfm

Ah okay, those Scanners. But a) how did Jace know about those if he just arrived at Alicante and the other NY Shadowhunters had to specifically be told about them b) why the hell is the Cemetery of the Disgraced a “high-risk area in the city” because what valuables do they keep there that it's high risk and also the Cemetery is clearly outside the city, remember 3x01 and c) who the hell would use a left thumb for scanning purposes?!

Also that knive

is way too short to be sticking out of her back like that

especially considering the angle.

And this could have been avoided so easily. There were two sufficiently long swords displayed literally three inches above that short knife.

*sigh*

Oh c'mon. She had her stele in her hand. Couldn't she have activated her Healing Rune before drawing that other Weird Rune (that I couldn't identify, sadly)? She didn't even try to save herself.

Okay, so it was to create a fire message.... but last time I checked (3x06, literally one freakin' episode ago) you had to write something down before you could send a fire message. And before you say Magnus is a Warlock and it could be different for Shadowhunters, Izzy did, too, in 1x06. Also, sorry Imogen, but whatever you drew there

wasn't a Heat Rune.

Not even half of it, not even close.

Btw, trust Shadowhunters to have a Heat Rune so elaborate and intricate that it's probably faster to just write a text.

Still, I won't be bitter about all of this BECAUSE

I CAUGHT A WALL WITH A FREAKIN' NOURISHMENT RUNE HAHAHA WHAT EVEN

That's a really nice lamp.

Seriously? Splitting up? *sigh*

Also, where are all the disciples? Ah, right, wandering the street with vacant looks in their eyes, searching for the family pizza Lilith won't buy them.

................................he's a werewolf. With a nose. And he's a cop. Shouldn't he know better than to touch suspicious and unsanitary fluids in a creepy altar? *sigh*

One of the disciples came back, forgot his wallet.

Also, I get the whole It-cracks-behind-you,-you-turn-around-but-there's-nothing,-and-when-you-turn-around-again-there's-something-there, but it really makes no sense when you think about it. Still, that's like such a common cliché that I won't judge.

..............I thought you were the bodyguard. With what exactly do you need help, Simon?

I'll never understand why you'd try to argue with someone obviously possessed. I just don't get it. Where is the point.

Do I have to understand why those two disciples suddenly vaporized? Because I don't.

Lilith's screaming skillzZ tho.

But why didn't she notice Luke's presence earlier when he was splashing away at her bloody altar?

Also, nice setback, because now she'll need two new disciples to get her full set of 33. Assuming she can't use those weird disciple-shards, of course.

And there's the back of the T-Shirt.. Yeah, Gratuitous Sherlock Quote, whatever. That just sort of happened. (See what I did there?????????ßßßßß)

I won't comment on that nonsensical perfectly rectangular shape because that, too, is such a common cliché ..................and now I did comment on it, oopsie.

Okay, very impressive display with the cage, but they actually rammed only three column tent peg thingies into the ground.

Btw how did Clary, Alec and Izzy get into the Cemetery without Herondale's thumb? Did Jace leave the door open? *sigh*

Your fancy ass shirt isn't, tho. (Seriously, that pattern. So pretty.)

Also, why don't those tent peg thingies fall to the floor? They had to dramatically ram them into the earth to keep them upright and Clary clearly didn't send a layer of earthen soil with them through the portal. (Thankfully, imagine what it would have done to that carpet! Horrible thought!)

NAKED

haha sorry. Still, considering that she must have seen his wolf form up close and personal that question is a little redundant, right?

So Kyle was a stalkerish ex, that is a very valid reason to hate him. Tho there's one thing I don't understand. They've been broken up for weeks* and he still didn't have himself under control....... why? Because Simon needed like three days to get himself under control and the vampire blood lust is stronger than werewolf temper right? And I'll concede that Simon had help, but that help consisted of Raphael who kicked him out after a few hours because he was frustrated and Luke caringly ordering him a rare steak and pouring blood in a cup. So. My point is, getting excessive emotions under control shouldn't be that hard, especially because emotions are something you are used to dealing if you are a sentient being and alive. The urge to attack people and drink their blood isn't. If Simon could manage that in a very short amount of time I don't understand why Kyle couldn't. It can't be for lack of trying because obviously he wanted Maia back and he knew he couldn't have that as long as he wasn't in control of himself.

*So did I understand that correctly that in that earlier flashback Kyle did already know that he was a werewolf? If so, I would have liked to see them break up, because why did that happen? It sounds like Maia broke up. Kyle not confiding in her could have been part of it but honestly she doesn't seem to me to be the kind of person that would leave her boyfriend when he was obviously struggling with something, even if he has a hard time telling her. Of course it could be that Kyle was constantly acting like a dick, mood swings and all, that she eventually got tired of it but that's just speculation from my side. Again, if she was suspecting there was a hidden cause for that and he didn't just transform into a douchebag I can't really believe she'd let it go.

I really liked the fact that it was specifically stated that the fact that Kyle turned Maia wasn't why she was angry, but the way he behaved afterwards. That too is a perfectly valid reason for her to be angry and in my opinion she can hold onto that anger and hurt forever, that would be entirely justified. Still, I think it's a little unfair of her to claim he's abandoning Simon now, because a) he was sending another Praetor in and b) if Simon now hates Kyle's guts it's questionable how much help he'll be able to provide for Simon and c) shouldn't that be Simon's choice?

“It's great that you found a way of redemption for you but if you're here to ask my forgiveness that's not something I can do.” I understand why she explicitly says that Kyle can't have her forgiveness, but I honestly thought it was a little unnecessary. He wasn't asking her for forgiveness. The way he acts and talks make it clear that he doesn't think he deserves her forgiveness. On the other hand the way she talked about him joining the Praetor made him sound like a self-pitying, self-serving a-hole and I think she's misjudging him there.

Yeah, I really didn't get the impression he was expecting that. Or that he was leaving because Maia can't forgive him. *sigh* Kyle obviously made some grave mistakes, but the way Maia is picking on him where it's not really warranted makes me sympathetic, I'll be honest.

Wow, who moved Jonathan to this new, cool display vitrine???

“They didn't get their pizza dose in time. They starved.”

How can you possibly have so much knowledge on something that's never ever been there before? I didn't get it before and I'm not getting it now.

OH MY GOD THIS IS SO HILARIOUS I CAN'T

IZZY THINKS SO TOO

I just imagined Malec Domestic Life with Jace trapped in their living room. Like, he'd be awkwardly third wheeling while they have breakfast and make scathing comments while they watch TV.....

I honestly thought she was gonna attack her guards and flee.

This wall just has a lot of Love to give, okay?!

(Gif Source, Heat Rune Source)

[aion-rsa]

The Falcon and the Winter Soldier Episode 5: Marvel and MCU Easter Eggs

https://ift.tt/eA8V8J

This article contains The Falcon and the Winter Soldier episode 5 spoilers, and possibly more for future episodes and the wider MCU.

The Falcon and the Winter Soldier episode 5, “Truth,” is another somewhat transitional episode for the series. Big action at the beginning, some heartbreaking reveals in the middle, and then plenty of bonding and moving pieces around for the finale for the rest of the episode. Oh yeah, and one absolutely awesome use of The Meters’ “Hey Pocky A-Way.”

Anyway, let’s dig into the MCU and Marvel Comics references we’ve found so far. And remember, if you spot anything we missed, let us know in the comments!

“Truth”

The episode title is taken from Truth: Red, White, and Black, the 2003 miniseries that introduced the concept of Isaiah Bradley and told his tragic story. It references those events extensively, too…

Isaiah Bradley

Much of what Isaiah recounts to Sam during their heart-to-heart is very similar to the events of Truth: Red, White, and Black. Here, we assume that the events described took place approximately during the Korean War rather than World War II, but the effect is the same, and equally horrific. Things ended differently and perhaps even more tragically for Isaiah in the comics, where a combination of the serum and years of experimentation left him barely functional.

Isaiah makes mention of the “Red Tails”, which was the nickname for Tuskegee Airmen, a group of primarily Black fighter pilots in World War II. Despite fighting for the U.S. military, they were subject to racism within the army and in civilian life.

Presumably, the woman writing him letters while he was imprisoned is Faith Shabazz, who was his wife in the comics and similarly never gave up on him. However, there she survived to see his release, while in the MCU, she didn’t.

Sam’s visits to Isaiah stand in stark contrast to how this played out in the comics, when it was Steve who learned about Isaiah and came to honor him, but by then Isaiah’s mind was gone.

John Walker

When fighting Walker, Falcon and Bucky nearly snapped his arm right off in order to remove the shield. Understandably, Walker spent much of the episode with his arm in a sling. In the comics, Walker had a more dire arm injury, losing both an arm and a leg in a fight against Nuke (who we saw a version of on Jessica Jones). During this time, Walker refused any cybernetic replacements and instead resigned himself to a wheelchair. Not that it hindered him, as he was still able to kick ass as the warden of the Raft.

The fight with John taking on Sam and Bucky simultaneously feels like another inversion from Captain America: Civil War, where Steve and Bucky fight Iron Man. The end of it, with Sam reluctantly picking up the bloodstained shield, is one of the most powerful images in MCU history.

In the comics, Walker wasn’t permanently stripped of his Captain America role after killing (which he did in gruesome fashion, to the tune of several members of the extremist Watchdogs group after they murdered his parents). In fact the government even tried to help cover it up for a while, and temporarily put a leash on him. They did formally take the title from him a little later, but it was specifically to give it back to Steve Rogers, who initially refused before Walker himself prevailed upon Cap to take up the shield again. In any case, Walker suffers more consequences here than most authority figures do when they find themselves in the public eye for doing the wrong thing…

Holy moley, Wyatt Russell sure sounds EXACTLY like his dad Kurt during that Court-Martial scene. In particular, his line about “not like I’m gonna disappear” is a nice acknowledgment that John Walker is probably going to have a future in the MCU as U.S. Agent.

Speaking of which…

Julia Louis-Dreyfus as Contessa Valentine Allegra de Fontaine

Your eyes do not deceive you, that is the brilliant Julia Louis-Dreyfus (Seinfeld, Veep) as Jim Steranko creation Contessa Valentine Allegra de Fontaine. She sure does appear to be doing some recruitment here, and with word that she’s also appearing in Black Widow, we get the feeling this means she’s putting together a team of her own. Dark Avengers and/or Thunderbolts, here we come! We wrote more about that intriguing possibility here.

Interestingly enough, the “legal gray area” she refers to about Captain America’s shield not belonging to the government is in fact a detail from the pages of Marvel Comics. It’s one of the things that led to Steve having to give up the title of Captain America (along with the shield) and that opened the door for John Walker to take over. Although the argument the government used at the time was that the costume and shield had been designed by employees of the federal government, and thus those belonged to them, and that technically Steve had never been discharged from the Army. Presumably, the “legal grey area” here may have something to do with Steve’s disappearance and resurrection and/or how the government may have cut ties with former organizations like the SSR (which later became SHIELD) after it was revealed they had been infiltrated by HYDRA. Or something like that.

Zemo

After a quick escape from the Dora Milaje, Zemo visits the Sokovian memorial he mentioned to Sam and Bucky in episode 4. It seems he knew that he wouldn’t get far, and had accepted he’d be back behind bars imminently. The fact that we’re disappointed to see him exit says a lot about Daniel Bruhl’s acting throughout the series, though we doubt we’ve seen the last of the charismatic character.

Zemo’s philosophical conversation with Sam about his scorched earth policy on supersoldiers in episode 4 pays off in our main duo’s favor in episode 5 when Zemo reveals he no longer has any interest in killing Bucky. Bucky then proves to Zemo that he has become much more than the Winter Soldier, but not before giving him a scare that quickly becomes relief, then disappointment when Bucky reveals there are no bullets in his gun. The Raft better have some good therapists, or this man’s gonna change up his reading material from Machiavelli to Zapffe. [Please stop inserting these philosophy references into our Easter eggs – Ed] [No <3 – Kirsten]

Sam Wilson

We’re explicitly told that Steve revealed his retirement plans to Bucky before he went back in time to replace the Infinity Stones in Avengers: Endgame. Bucky apologizes, saying that neither he or Steve fully thought through the ramifications of passing on the shield to Sam. 

It looks like Bucky had the Wakandans make Sam a custom Captain America suit. If you haven’t seen it yet (the toys have already been on the shelves), all we’re gonna say is that it’s genuinely one of the coolest superhero costume designs of the modern era. You can see it here if you want, we just don’t want to spoil it for those who are really waiting. Sam’s gonna look great in the red, white, and blue.

Torres is the New Falcon?

Sam tells Torres to keep his old, broken wings. It seems inevitable that Torres will fix ‘em up, as in the pages of Marvel Comics he becomes the new Falcon. 

Batroc

Looks like we’re gonna get a rematch with Batroc (ze leaper!!!) in the final episode of the series. Sam also took on Batroc in one of his first adventures as Captain America, in the pages of All-New Captain America by Rick Remender and Stuart Immonen. More Batroc is good for everyone, but more relevant to that series and what’s coming next.

Is Sharon Carter the Power Broker?

So Sharon got Batroc out of jail and is helping to connect him with the Flag-Smashers…for some reason. So either she’s the Power Broker (as everyone has suspected) or this is a fakeout and she’s just doing this to manipulate Sam into picking up the shield and becoming Captain America. Maybe she’s doing that with Steve’s blessing?

Also, the painting that we see when we first flash to Sharon’s lair is the painting that Bucky smashes through in the flashback in E1, I think. 

The GRC

The GRC is tasked with resettling 20 million…MILLION refugees worldwide. Would anyone care to guess how many refugees were resettled worldwide in the entire world at the all-time peak in 2016? 189,000.

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[vapormaison]

Best of 2019 Vaporwave Release 2/4: Hypnagogia by Dan Mason

When I go to vaporwave and future funk shows throughout Asia, I run into many truly serious vinyl collectors and hardcore audiophiles who I respect immensely. They have been, in many respects, my introduction to and informal educators in the hi-fi world. This is not to throw shade at my Western vapor-vinyl friends, but I’ve always felt that there is a natural predisposition — perhaps imbued by traditions of archival curation and letters spanning five millennia — for Asian collectors to have the most discerning taste, and when it comes to audiophilia, the most exacting specifications.

I don’t know any fellas or fems in Hong Kong, Yokohoma, or Seoul with a substantial vinyl collection who rock a set of expensive, vintage B&Os handed down by their father, but are spinning the records on a Crossley suitcase turntable or an ATP-LX60. There’s a sincere reverence for the physical media there would naturally disincline a hobbyist from actively damaging their own material — a form of wax homicide that is all too common with my pals in Brooklyn. I’m able to put in context, however, whenever one of my countrymen mentions the cost of seeing a doctor, of course. Just staying alive is an expensive enough proposition — which explains why hi-fi enjoyment tends to skew boomer in America. Everyone else has a sword of Damocles hanging above their head.

That all said, when a particular artist is held in reverence by those Asia-oriented pals of mine, I take note and listen. Recently, when I stopped off in my usual haunts in Kanagawa early on this year, there was a name that was on all of their lips: Dan Mason. More specifically, his recent work, Hypnagogia. Admittedly, it was a release that had evaded me at first, corresponding with the peak of the IELTS testing season. And unfortunately, while I was jet-setting from university advisement here to consultancy there, the vinyl drop completely fell out of my grasp.

I spent a few weeks on discogs, but to no avail. Not even the scalpers were selling them anymore. It was this that first clued me into the idea that I might have been absent for something legendary. So shortly before I left Japan, I was able to meet a friend of a friend who was in possession of the record. It required a train ride all the way out to Osaka (in context: it’s not all that bad, Honshu’s roughly the size of Cali) to get a listen to this record.

That day, I was treated to one of the warmest, most enjoyable listening experiences of my life. The woman who welcomed us into her traditionally designed home was truly an audiophile extradonarii. As we crossed a sliding doorway into her listening room, I was met with a pair of beautiful Yamaha NS-6HX speakers in rosewood cases flanking a tower of clean, shining, silver-faced Technics separates —the SE-C01, SU-C01, and the S91 power supply. Perfectly understated, mini — but also powerful — especially for a cozy place like hers. Added for good measure was the M02 tape deck and above those was a classic 1200 turntable. It was a family of DJs, I later learned— and her nine year old daughter had recently taking up spinning on their set upstairs!

As the album begun, I closed my eyes and let the almost overwhelming brightness from the technics/yamaha combo wash over me. And after a few seconds, I got past the uniqueness of the set and had my Eureka moment — I was listening to one of the best albums in the genre that I had ever heard. Not just an iconic album for 2019 — but for the genre as a whole. Here are my thoughts on it here:

Part 1: The Music

Insomnia begins in a very iconic Dan-Masonish style. It was exactly what I expected, in a way, and almost comforting. As the track rises like a loaf of artisan bread through its first minute we’re treated with a procession of synth, chimes, a muted drum kit and powerfully distorted, bass-heavy vocals that manage to both lull and unsettle in equal measures.

Melatonin High definitely hits on an unconscious neural pathway related to my own history with hallucinogenic experimentation. The array of synths, skewed vocals, and soft percussion hits feels very apropos for both the title and its position on the LP. Atmospheric tracks like this always just vibe better early, in my view.

Shade feels the most “poppy” of the album, with a clean but entrancing chord arrangement, prominent vocal track, jungle drum loops and the sparingly used but extremely heavy and robust synth chimes. In a rare moment, I found myself enjoying the vocal-less denouement in the last quarter of the track just as much as the rest of the piece.

Fade exists sonically like a relic of dreams of vapor past — like a throwback to Mason’s earlier, much more distinctly “early vaporwave” sound profile. This is not to say that it doesn’t innovate in its own way, with clever vocal layers and an impressive synth array, but it echoes towards an aura that is more like a return to form, or perhaps more artistically realized — a fade away to a flashback. For these reasons, it’s my favorite on the LP and speaks to thematic thrust of the album in what I think is its strongest sonic affirmation.

Go Away is a robust vapor-hop, future-oriented throwback, speaking first to a very distinct “Bridge war” New York flow roughly concurrent to the rap sound I personally grew up with in Queens, NY. But the genius present here is that it takes this very distinctly late 80s/onset of the 90s East Coast flow and merges it with lyrics that feel distinctly at home in a mid-millennial rapper’s sound-cloud. We’re treated to desires of Robatussin lean (not available until the mid 90s in NYC because of some big pharma legal war I was only peripherally aware of) effortlessly weaved in with moments of millennial malaise. This track should sufficiently hit home with that particular crowd born in that ’88-’93 set.

Visions features an arresting synth array that carries you down the contact high of Go Away brilliantly. The vocals here tend to swing towards the sort of low-end distorted profile of Tyler the Creator’s “therapist” character in Goblin — with was made an ever-more prominent association by virtue of the quasi-existential and psychological overtones that developed in the piece lyrically.

Stop Me manifests itself initially as a sort of clever synth-wave throwback, and then slows its chord progression to a screeching halt fleshing it out more fully as a “true” vapor piece — aided by a perfectly arranged vocal track that comes out as W-I-D-E on a good stereo set. This is definitely the type of track whose mastering for vinyl can either be used as a master class on mix & master or a cautionary tale. Thankfully, it’s certainly the former!

Good Night starts with an echo of ghosts of lo-fi’s past, with compressed percussion hits, and tinny snares, but we are treated soon after with a remarkably hypnotic trail of synths that absolutely dance at the high end, sending the Yamaha’s tweeters into overdrive. it’s also one of those tracks that, by virtue of brilliant progression and arrangement, feels much shorter than its run-time — a key feature for any good penultimate LP track.

Hopefully Forever is a remarkable track to end the album on. To take the listener from the “chill” vibes of Good Night and then hit them with the Ryuchi Sakamoto-esque electronic array (Am I detecting a possible ‘Merry Christmas, Mr. Lawrence’ inspiration?) and raspy, almost -screamo lyrics imbued with frustration, dread, and longing is a dichotomy worthy of an article all its own. It’s certainly not my particular favorite sound profile, but even I can recognize it for what it truly is: stupendous.

Part 2: The Vinyl Listening Experience

As stated previously, I’m a pretty firm believer in the “audiophile” bones of Hypnagogia, and obviously many audiophiles have literally and figuratively bought in as well. What impressed me about the mix in my limited listening context is that it somewhat antithetical to the tastes of many local audiophiles there, and the general sound profile of Japanese stereos and speaker systems. Technics especially seems to me to take great effort to widen and max-out the low end of the spectrum — which in principle, would work on something like a french house record, but with something like Hypnagogia requires a bit more precision, in my view. The Yamahas did a bit to neutralize this tendency, I think — and my particular listen retained much of the dynamic range that I’ve appreciated in previous releases by Dan.

Nevertheless, I found myself progressively disarmed by the quality of the mix & mastering work. A vinyl experience this clean — and not to overuse this word — but precise in its appreciation and maximization of dynamic range deserves makes this LP deserve serious consideration whenever it comes up on discogs retailing for $300 or something insane like that.

On the physical quality — I have to say I was not expecting a wax release this nice from Business Casual. Perhaps this is my natural bias, but I’ve always associated them as a high-end cassette label. Masters of that craft, no doubt. But I think this excellent press and physical product (along with sales, I imagine!) sends a pretty clear message to the folks at Business Casual that they should be getting into the vinyl game as aggressively as they do cassettes.

[alexanderwrites]

Thoughts Roundup - Twin Peaks: The Return, Part 14

 “We Are Like the Dreamer”

David Lynch famously said that he can’t stand people talking after they see a movie. That the movie is the talking. Despite the fact that talking about movies is pretty much my passion, I get what he means. Up until recently, i’d be scouring the internet for hours after each new episode, reading about every talking point, every theory and attempting to unpick every moment. I would do this immediately after watching each episode which, really, makes no sense. Yes, I still like to read reviews and give the forums a quick peruse, but I find that to get the most out of the show, I have to sit with the episode for a while, and see how I feel about it after a good night’s sleep, hence why I write these reviews a day after I see each episode. There is such a thing as too much and too soon, and reading pieces immediately after watching an episode is sort of like seeing the opening act after you see the main show. There is so much to take in and enjoy with each given episode that afterwards I just need to process it in my own way without getting external input.

Talking and writing about the show does have merit and is great fun, I just am starting to realise that I need to separate the show from the writing about the show. I mean, how can it not mess with your expectations, for better or for worse? “We WILL see X character next episode”, “The next episode will be the ONE where everything changes”, “This character from this episode will be the key to the whole mystery”, and so on. How would I feel about The Return if i’d never read a word on it? Part of me wishes I had, but then again good, thoughtful writing about The Return is so complimentary to my enjoyment of the show, and has made me appreciate so much more about it. I suppose my point is: writing, whether good or bad, has affected the way I watch and view the show, and so for the reviews henceforward, I will try and keep my points as individual and unaffected by other writing as possible. Ideally, i’d like what I say about the show to express how I feel, rather than attempt to sway the readers (all 2 of you) a certain way. So, after a good night’s sleep, little to no reading on the episode and a big, fuck-off coffee, let’s talk about...

. The FBI. The episode kicks off and wastes no time in getting straight into things. It’s with openings like these - abrupt and un-establishing - that remind you that this is from one long, 18-hour Script. The endings often remind me of this fact too. Absent are cliff-hangers and buttons, and absent are ‘previously on’s at the beginning of each episode. Instead, here’s Gordon, calling Lucy. It’s strange to think that they haven’t interacted in The Return yet, and even stranger to remember that Gordon hasn’t even been back in town. It’s strange, because they’re two of the funniest characters in the show, and Gordon is one of the most Twin Peaks-y characters, despite not even being from the town. They feel linked, even if it’s by one event 25 years ago, and they are still linked today - they just don’t quite know how, yet. Gordon’s call to Lucy is laugh out loud funny; I have a simple comedy brain, and will always laugh at things that are too loud. Hearing Gordon’s tinny yell pummel its way out the end of her receiver really tickled me, as did his unexplained, confused pause when Lucy told him of her trip to Bora Bora. Not a beach boy, Gordon? So, for a scene that wastes no time, it certainly wastes time, but beautifully so. Their interaction is a miniature reunion that finally links Gordon back to Twin Peaks, which has always felt like his spiritual home.

The Return has had a really interesting way of dispensing information, wherein waiting for a character to discover something that we already know is as gripping as us discovering information in the first place. And so, Gordon finally finds out about Laura Palmer’s missing pages, and how it indicates “Two Coopers”. You have to admire Robert Forster’s straight-face matter-of-factness in handling these topics. He knows it sounds strange, but to him, these are just strange truths that it is his duty to notify his colleagues and superiors of. I guess, as a Bookhouse Boy, Frank Truman has seen enough odd things in those woods to not be particularly fazed by them anymore. 

. Tammy, God Bless you for saying “What’s the significance of the Blue Rose?” when asked by Albert which one question she should ask him about the first ever Blue Rose case. That is what we all want to know, and the last few episodes have given us more clarification of that than I ever expected. She could be seen as an audience surrogate, the newbie to whom everything is explained. But she is also smart, more proactive than the typical rookie, and she gives us the most perfect explanation of what a Blue Rose is: something which does not occur in nature. It’s exciting getting to hear glimpses into the history of the Blue Rose, but a bigger bombshell is dropped in this scene, one so inextricably connected to Dougie and Vegas that it’ll most likely have our FBI crew strolling down the strip by the next episode: Diane is Janey-E’s half sister. But, is she really? Whomever she is texting (which it seems is Doppelcoop), she tells them where the FBI are and that she’s getting them to Vegas. If this were her task, to get the FBI to Vegas, would it not be beneficial to her to speed up the process by claiming that she’s Janey-E’s sister? Who knows. Diane plays her cards very close to her chest, emotionally and informationally, and any time we get too close, we get a big fat Fuck You from her. For now, i’ll take her word for it, because I love the idea that Laura Dern and Naomi Watts are sisters. 

. Monica Belluci has the secrets to the universe, or at least in Gordon’s head. “Who is the dreamer?”. It’s a damn good question, and I think what it means is “whose chess board are they all pawns on?”. Is it Doppelcoop, or is it forces larger than him? Is it “Mother”, or something we saw born in the atomic explosion? The show has always felt like a dream, and while I don’t believe it’ll all turn out to be a literal dream, the feeling is there, and it makes us wonder what version of reality we are seeing. It’s a thoughtful philosophical quandary, and one that clearly disturbs poor old Gordon, the sensitive soul. And next we have our Bowie cameo which is not really a cameo like the clickbait headlines tell us, but a scene from Fire Walk With Me, which, at this point, you almost have to have seen to fully appreciate The Return. It’s interesting that both Gordon and Albert hadn’t remembered exactly what Jeffries had said, and his “Who do you think that is there?” question regarding Cooper is certainly creepy in retrospect. Did Jeffries slip in and out of time, and see who Cooper would become? It feels like he is, if not a key to unlocking the mystery, at least a very important figure in the overall story. I don’t think there is a clear mystery that will ever be solved at this stage, and I think in a sense, it would be disappointing if there was one overall answer to everything. It would be too easy. Instead, lets just take each scene and surprise we get, try and contextualise them as best we can, and figure out what they say rather than what they literally mean. It’s too vague and too abstract for everything to be neatly explained, and really, wouldn’t that ruin some of the fun?

. The boy scouts Bookhouse Boys are heading to Jackrabbit’s palace, and there is something intrinsically melancholy about their journey, because it makes Bobby fondly recall his father. The woods they walk through aren’t the scary, foreboding woods we see in Twin Peaks at night, they’re glowing with sunlight and the home of happier times in Bobby’s childhood. That is, until they find a vortex to the Black and White World and the woman from the Purple World who helped Cooper escape back in Part 3, naked and unable to speak, and with skin still over her eyes. The scene of them exploring gave me serious Lost flashbacks, and like Lost, what comes next is confusing as all hell, yet fairly answerable.........I think. Andy, of all people, disappears to the Black and White Room, which looks absolutely stunning again. The set design throughout The Return has been terrific but perhaps a bit more modern and less stylised than some of Lynch’s other projects, but the Black and White room is a hit of that old school, Eraserhead style set design. The Giant names himself as the “Fireman”, which ties again to fire and electricity being a source of evil, and the Fireman as a pretty decent bloke, really. A window above Andy transforms into a cinema screen which gives him the weirdest “Previously on” the world has ever seen. From the Atomic Blast and the releasing of Bob into our world, to Laura Palmer being taken by the Angels, it is a stirring and haunting mirror into the darkness that summarises succinctly the nature of good and bad in the show’s universe. And now Andy - yes, Andy - has the secret to it all. It’s a hypnotic scene, and i’m increasingly blown away by how well The Return is blending the more abstract, with the linear narrative, to the point where the two cannot exist without each other. Like a blend of a wanderlust through the netherworld, and a real-world sense of purpose and duty, Andy takes the woman to the police station to protect her. He knows more now, and understands that she is in danger. From who? Mother, it seems, is still hot on her tail. His job has never been more important, and keeping her safe was as important as arresting the policeman earlier, a funny scene, the buildup to which seems to have played out almost entirely offscreen. I like it though - it reminds you there’s an entire world going on that you don’t necessarily get to see. The woman chirps and squeaks in her cell, desperately trying to articulate some sort of message. We cannot decipher her message, no matter how hard she tries to speak. So close, yet so far away.

. James has his first non-singing dialogue of the season, and though he doesn’t give too many glimpses into his life, we know that it’s his birthday, and that he’s a security guard at the Great Northern. And that above all, he seems happy. It’s hard to tell from what we see of him, but he smiles so much more easily than he used to, and his brooding seems absent. We’re not really thinking about ol’ forehead, because we’re thinking about his Security Guard buddy, a ‘cockney’ (that accent is maybe the scariest thing in the return yet) who has lots of lines to tell you that he is, in fact, English (Pubs? Check! Football? Check! Antiquated cockney rhyming slang? Check!). It’s weird and a bit goofy, but damn is it a story that hooks you. I love the idea that there are portals to the Other Places all over the world (the book hints that there are many), including in an alley in the East End of London. Does that mean Ian Beale is to discover one next? It’s such an incongruous image but kind of brilliant, and now we have someone sent specifically to Twin Peaks by The Fireman and given one very powerful hand. Arms and hands, man. The references to arms and hands being signs of power, possession, weakness and evil are so numerous, but they seem to be perhaps an entry point for non-human spirits? Then, James goes to check out a creepy noise (never a good idea you dumdum) in the basement of the Great Northern, where that odd ringing noise seems to emit from. It feels like he could die down there; it feels like he is dead down there. It feels like hell, and there’s more excellent set and sound design to thank for that. There is something very bad under every building in Twin Peaks...

. In an episode that has so many talking points to choose from, I think the one that most people will be talking about is Sarah Palmer’s. Her scene is so filled with dread, malice, then satisfyingly gruesome terror that I needed to pause the episode afterwards. It’s an horrific yet celebratory moment: the disgusting harasser gets exactly what we’ve been waiting for the whole series, and gives a sense of power and authority right back in the hands of a tortured woman. Yet, it is pretty clear cut evidence that Sarah is either not a person, or is a person who is, for want of a better word, darksided. Was she the girl who got a bug in the mouth after all? Is she home to spirits as Leland was? It’s hard to tell, but i’m all for the spirits if they cause her to bite a gross dude’s throats out. When Laura took her face...off at the beginning of the Return, there was nothing but light. When her mother did the same, a darkness peered out, as did a cheshire cat grin that takes a pretty high place on the Nightmare Imagery Shitlist of The Return. 

. And we come to an end, with more ambiguous discussions at the Roadhouse. Billy gets a mention, and it is likely that he was the blood soaked creep from the jail cell scene earlier in the episode. “I can’t remember whether my uncle was there”, says one of the characters as she describes when she last saw Billy. She seems worried by this. It’s such a small and seemingly unimportant question, but it feels like the detail that makes her story not of this world. Having characters in more than one place at a time and having characters disappear and reappear has made us look out for any variation on this theme, and the Uncle’s both being there and not being there stands out. The talk of family members reminds me of the screaming car woman with the sick teenager from episodes back, who also listed members of her family, seemingly at random. What is going on in the families of this town? It feels so fucking nightmarish, and while I once didn’t enjoy these moments for their lack of direct connection to the narrative, I now appreciate them as miniature dramas, always unfolding under a shade of darkness, and expanding the universe of the show that you don’t really see. Tonight’s scene ties their drama to Audrey’s through the mention of Tina. How it’ll come together is to be seen, but the word I think most apt to describe it is Purgatory. It feels like these characters are stuck in a strange, haunted, endlessly unfolding narrative. Of abusive family members, of violence, lies and deceit, of nightmarish uncertainty and endless repetition. What would be really interesting would be to piece all these moments together to see what themes and motifs stand out, because like so much else, it feels like there is something pounding at us from beneath its surface.

That’s how I’d describe this episode. There is something underneath this episode, like the face beneath Sarah’s, or the language beneath the Blind Woman’s chirps, or the ringing sound underneath the Great Northern, that we get glimpses at but ultimately cannot decipher. They are brought out by fear, anger, necessity and desperation, and try as we all might, we may not discover what they all mean. Maybe it’s that we listen to the blind woman’s noises, that we venture into the basement, that we look into Sarah Palmer’s eyes, that is important. Perhaps the act of Andy listening to the fireman and watching those scenes unfold is what the purpose is. What matters most is not that the mystery is answered, but that we behold the mystery, and celebrate it. Isn’t that what all of life really is? One big, weird ass mystery that we’re endlessly trying to answer? We can watch the magician’s hands as closely as we like, but his hat will end up empty, and we’ll be left asking questions and wishing we’d just enjoyed the trick. Maybe we’re all in someone else’s dream, or maybe we are the dreamer - what matters most is that the question exists, and that we accept it. What more can you do than that? “What the fuck is going on in Twin Peaks”? We might never know, and that’s okay. 

[cripplinganxietyflix]

I saw Valerian.

If you’ve ever spoken to me at length about movies, there’s a good chance my thoughts on “headache cinema” have come up. It’s an umbrella term I’ve come up with that encompasses the deluge of loud, obnoxious, brainless, neutered, hundred-million-dollar-budgeted trashfests that are destroying theater culture as we know it. I’m talking about the Disney’s Marvel franchises, the post-Matrix Wachowski migraines, the Transformers films- head-exploding visual fuckfests that leave the average adult feeling like they’ve crawled out some hellscape version of a McDonald’s play palace birthday party. This brand of film is easily my least enjoyed and most disliked. The vast majority of the time these movies are castrated down to a PG-13- or worse, a PG!, they’ve got bloated budgets, dumb plotlines, stupid dialog, and best of all: punching, loud noises, explosions, TOTAL SENSORY OVERLOAD. 

For many years I have hated superhero movies and glazed over at Hollywood’s air-horn retreads of movies like Clash of the Titans and Independence Day: Resurgence and the recent Ghost in the Shell mishap. I hate movies like this and I find them at least majorly to blame for the death of the hard R-rated action flick. There are exceptions to the formula, like Mad Max: Fury Road, the 2014 Godzilla, and Dredd, but generally speaking, they’re unwatchable. I will be the first to admit that I’m not a big fan of whimsy, but I will be happy to defend my position on this. Giant blockbuster action movies are generally dumb and boring if you’ve got more than two brain cells to rub together. I do try to balance my feelings about people who like brain-dead, ham-fisted, infantile PG-13 sci-fi action movies with my penchant for unrepentantly trashy, low-brow 70s and 80s exploitation horror films. I know for a fact that there’s a certain segment of cinema elitists who would see my interest in that subgenre as an undeniable sign of being a philistine troglodyte, which slightly tempers my extreme prejudicial judgment of those who love headache cinema. 

I can pick up the hanging thread to unravel this tapestry. It’ll lead you through all of the recent loud crashing DC fiascos and the rainbow of annoying apocalypse and disaster films and CG shitshows. Once you hit the Star Wars prequels, you’re getting close. But the film that started all of this hatred is Luc Besson’s The Fifth Element, easily in my top five most despised films of all time (that’s a list for another day!). 

It feels a little bizarre for me to say that I hate Luc Besson. Léon: The Professional is one of my favorite films of all time, and easily my favorite film of 1994. But aside from that and 1990′s La Femme Nikita, I find Besson wholly intolerable. His movies tend toward obnxious, incomprehensible, overwhelming, anxiety-inducing horse shit. And while many people are happy to agree with me, it seems no one outside of myself is willing to slaughter the sacred cow that is The Fifth Element. Some see a sci-fi fantasy classic, I proffer that it’s a grotesque panacea of ADHD, loud noises and cringey acting. To Besson’s credit, most of the time his films don’t take themselves seriously, and that’s fine. But The Fifth Element is the first film in my memory where I felt literally assaulted and invaded by the unfettered gaudy head-spinning madness of big, loud, overwhelming movies. My level of general calmness could be compared to a that of a frightened rabbit with combat shock, so I try to be cognizant that this dislike has less to do with objective quality and more to do with my personal preferences and tolerance levels. Let’s be real- I’m a person with severe, crippling anxiety. Headache cinema is not made for me. 

That being said, I saw the trailers for Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets, and I immediately started getting Vietnam flashbacks of Chris Tucker in a wig and leopard print jumping out of my television and screaming into my face. My significant other has a much more relaxed attitude toward these things and a seemingly endless well of patience for Luc Besson, so I had a feeling I was going to end up seeing this film in theaters and I started mentally preparing for it. And I’m really glad that I did all that emotional gestation, because I found Valerian to be surprisingly tolerable, aside from being a chaotic discombobulation of ideas that all generally have the potential to be good but fail because Luc Besson must have the attention span of a squirrel. And squirrels plant trees because they literally can’t remember where they’ve left their nuts. I couldn’t dream of a better summation of why Luc Besson turns nearly everything he touches into abject shit.

Valerian is essentially a very straight-forward narrative about a couple of federal agents (?) in space (???) who uncover a conspiracy involving a group of displaced aliens. They spend the film unraveling a mystery surrounding an enigmatic void in the middle of a space ship (?) or man-made planet (???) that contains thousands of different species from throughout the universe that live in surprising harmony. The alien refugees and the void on the ship or planet are related, you will later find. 

That’s basically it. It’s a simple storyline with simple elements like “war is bad” and “the powerful oppress the powerless” and “love is universal and always wins.” If you dig down past all of the color and noise and distraction, that’s the basic bedrock. I think I was expecting this movie to be a convoluted mess, and to a great extent it absolutely was. But I wouldn’t say that the story was the weakest part of the film. 

What did some substantial damage was the acting and dialog. The two leads had no chemistry and the actor playing the title character (Dane DeHaan) had a stunning drought of charisma. I think that his opposite, Cara Delevingne, has the potential to be a fun leading lady, but she never had a chance in this movie. The love angle was hackneyed and totally unnecessary to the point that the film would have fared much better if Valerian and Laureline were friends instead of a ~~will they or won’t they???~~ couple. I thought it was insulting to my sensibilities, and that sucks since the romance thing was such an ingrained aspect of the movie. I couldn’t tell if they were even in a relationship with each other or if Valerian had puppy love and Laureline has simply spent their entire careers fighting off his advances only to reluctantly agree to marry him after the film’s climax. This film could have really used a competent screen writer. I think I even could have lived with some of the eye-rollingly dumb but baseline-acceptable dialog you hear in Disney’s© Marvel™ Avengers Part 2: Electric Boogaloo. The villain (played by Clive Owen) was such a stupid caricature of literally everything that is wrong with Bad Guys in major American cinema- instantly hate-able, predictable, no angle or point of sympathy, stupid rationale for his actions-type of shit. And what’s really frustrating is that the Owen’s villain had a completely rational and utilitarian motive for his actions. But that gets torpedoed by the giant flashing neon signs that say “HE’S THE BAD GUY” and “EVIL PIECE OF SHIT” hanging over his head in every scene he’s featured in. It absolutely felt like the characters were totally empty and needed to be reworked from the ground up. I even thought Rihanna’s character had more depth than either Valerian or Laureline. Valerian’s a by-the-books soldier with a heart of gold? Could have fooled me! Laureline’s a toughgirl with a penchant for violent overreaction but still maintains a balanced moral compass? Hard to see through the horse shit nonsense they wrote for her. Character development and the script were both a total, unmitigated disaster.  

Another thing that I think the film failed at was building tension. Everything felt a little too whimsical and inconsequential. In the beginning, a bus full of mercenaries (?) is attacked by a violent hexapedal alien and Valerian and Laureline watch all of them die savagely with nothing more than a smirking “glad we made it outta that scrape!” reaction. It never really feels like they’re in any danger or that there’s any emotional peak or valley for the characters, with maybe a single, small exception. You watch a lot of people get shot to death and even a head get blown clean off and another cut right in half, but it all seems so cartoonish and trivial that you can’t help but feel like nothing really matters and it’s all just a low-stakes video game. 

But I don’t want to give you the impression that this movie is a complete trainwreck (it tries, believe me). There were things that I liked and appreciated. The visuals and alien designs were inventive and there was never really a moment where you couldn’t get lost in the scene. It kind of felt like Rick and Morty without the nihilism and good writing. Everything was very colorful, the universe felt very inhabited. Around halfway through, Valerian and Laureline have an almost brilliant run in with a species of giant food-obsessed frogs (I actually went through the trouble of looking it up; they’re called Boulan-Bathors) and I found the whole scenario to be kind of charming and cute. I didn’t really mind Rihanna’s cameo. The refugee aliens, the Pearls, were cool and appealing in the same translucent way as the Engineers of Prometheus. While I definitely felt some Avatar vibes, the whole opalescent, iridescent aesthetic was visually pleasing and I really liked the semi-androgynous thing they had going on. 

I think the strongest part of this film is the first several minutes that lays out Earth’s journey into space. It was beautiful and touching and enough to make you feel really depressed about the state of our space exploration programs and the hopelessness and polarization of our world affairs. I would liked to have seen more of a thematic connection to the introduction because it felt extremely dissonant with the rest of the movie, which, by comparison, is hard to feel particularly emotional about. If you’re not planning on seeing Valerian, I would at least recommend watching the first few minutes. If the movie had come full circle to it, you can see how it could have been brilliant. 

Overall, Valerian is kind of a giant mess, and by all means I should have absolutely hated it, because it is textbook headache cinema. I think that there was a wide dearth of missed opportunities with the material, and with a more competent screenwriter, a better cast, and maybe someone else in the director’s seat, we’d be talking about a viable start to a franchise. But too often Valerian ties its own shoelaces together and eats shit and expects us to be engrossed and entertained. The relationship between Valerian and Laureline- both as a friendship, coworkership and romance- either needed to be reengineered from the ground up or scrapped entirely. I think Dane DeHaan was totally wrong for the part of Valerian and I could see this movie succeeding in more ways had someone with more charisma been the leading man. Valerian desperately needed some tension, and the total absence of crisis or consequence left an unbridgeable emotional void. It’s beautiful- but it’s a mess, and that seems to be Luc Besson’s calling card. I doubt we’ll ever see another Léon, but if Besson’s next film is as much of an improvement on Valerian as Valerian was on Lucy, then we might have the potential to see something really special. And maybe in five to eight years when everyone has forgotten about this spectacle, we’ll get a decent reboot for the Valerian material. 

★ ★ ½

[eljackinton]

Unfinished Business: Welcome to Jack vs Damnation

Let's take a trip in the way back machine. It's the heyday of PC Mods, Video Game Magazines and the Demo Disk. Don't ask me what year it is, but it's probably around 2005. The popularity of the unreal engine is at it's peak and the results of the annual 'Make Something Unreal' contests would often make their way to the aforementioned demo disks.

I didn't even have job back then, and mostly bought my computer games with long accumulated pocket and birthday money, so demo disks, particularly those that had mods on for games you already owned, were a godsend.

I was a huge fan of Unreal Tournament, so these contest results were things I'd paid close attention to. Thus, begins the story of Damnation. Damnation was a steam-punk western single player mod that mixed up typical Unreal Tournament FPS mechanics with Tomb Raider/Prince of Persia style climbing mechanics. Throw in some spirit powers that let you possess people and character selection and it was quite like something we'd never seen before.

The mod was only a short couple of levels, where you got to play as a moody, face-wrapped mystery cowboy, a scantily clad native-american woman, and Antonio Banderas' character from Desperado, with a cyborg arm guy promised for future releases. Together they would join forces to fight against Thomas Edison, who had helped the Union win the Civil War with mechanical soldiers and now used them to take over America.

A full version was planned, before the developers lucked out and managed to strike a deal to make it a retail game. I was ecstatic to hear this, as I was awaiting a full mod alone with bated breath.

When the full release arrived, in 2008 I think it was, Damnation was absolutely slated. I myself started to have my doubts when I saw a lot of both the visual design and story elements had been changed, and when the reviews game in, I judged it just wasn't worth the risk of ponying over the cash.

I'd like to say that I'd always wondered though, but that's not true. I forgot about it mostly, and moved on. However, for some reason I got thinking about it again this year, and given that it was on the steam sale for 2 quid or something, I figured it was time to tie up loose ends.

This... is that story... below the cut

So we start off with an intro sequence that's actually pretty impressive. There's some really vague narration by a mystic native-american guy about the civil war, but once that's over here's an army of American science-nazis. That's a pretty cool visual, and goes a long way to getting me on board with this story.

But hold up a moment, this is then followed by a lady in a snake skin jacket talking into a loudspeaker. She looks more like she belongs in a gambling den than alongside the science-nazis.

Apparently they all belong to a corporation, and they're here to 'liberate' the town which her appearance sort of fits with, but the science-nazi stuff really doesn’t. 

We're really mixing up our visual metaphors here.

This is quickly followed by the arrival of this mysterious cloaked guy. He was in the intro to the original mod too, but he never showed up in the game itself, so it's cool to see him return here.

Next up we have have our heroes arriving via bike. This is verbatim taken from the intro to the original mod too.  Unfortunately Antonio Banderas’ character isn't here this time, instead we have some boring professor guy who serves as your tutorial. Likewise, the cowboy guy has gone through a bit of a redesign, and he's lost his cool scarf and goggles.

Also gone is the character select, you have to play as cowboy guy now, which sucks, since he was always the most boring character, and he's even more boring here.

Finally, *sigh* lets talk about the native-american lady. Now she's put on some pants since the original mod, so that's something, and I guess credit where it's due, the design team didn't just cover her in stereotypical 'Indian' garb. In fact, this could have been quite a cool design, but what the Sam Hill is going on with that underboob?

Some folks on the internet like to act like game designers are puritanical when designing female characters these days, but it's easy to forget that shit like this was rampant in the mid 2000's. There's no good reason why a character would dress like this. As far as her personality goes she's the stoic, professional member of the group. She's not sultry or flirtatious or anything, so there's no reason why she’d choose to dress with her baps out like this and considering the amount of vaulting, diving, and gymnastics the characters do, there’s no practical reason either.

So my suspension of disbelief is already destroyed by this nonsense. The visuals are pretty slick otherwise, at least for the era. Now first of all I notice a few things, we're locked into third person, which in the original mod was only used for the platforming. Second, the cool guns from the original mod return, but they're so tiny on the screen you barely notice. (In the original mod you got to duel wield these cool, multi barrelled revolvers that took up like half the screen, here you can barely see them.)

Then combat starts, and it's god awful. There's absolutely no force feedback to firing weapons or hitting enemies, and it all feels like you're just shooting people with paper darts. Making matters worse is that this game has clearly been designed as a cover shooter, with NO COVER MECHANIC involved.

Imagine trying to play Gears of War, but you can't take cover, you just have to keep crouching and crouching. It's that irritating. So I spend a bunch of time shooting science-nazi Star-Lords and it's a chore whatever weapon you use. The machine gun barely works, and the sniper rifle is only effective if you score a headshot, but has no scope that I can see.

Also this is a pre-achievements, so while there are collectables there's no sign of what they do. This is a shame, as finding background info or something could be useful. There's not a lot of world-building in this game.

The platforming is fun, I can say that at least.

Alez-oop!

So we have a flashback with cowboy guy. Turns out he was in love with some native-american woman (but not underboob native-american woman), and this hurts for some reason. Then we have some more pop-gun combat, more climbing. Professor reprograms a robot, and Antonio Banderas finally shows up.

Why can't I play as this guy?

(Also, they can take cover IN CUTSCENES)

After a really bland turret section the professor gets injured and captured, so we have to go to a native-american mystic who uses his mind powers to tell you where to go, and he gives you some of his mind powers to help you on your way.

The professor appears to be getting tortured by snake skin lady and another buxom femme fatale, because this is the mid-2000's, and only the love interest is pure enough to resist the urge to get her baps out. The bad guy, who I assume is not Thomas Edison, shows up looking like the owner of a gambling den, adding credence to my idea that they should have went with sleazy mobsters instead of science-nazis for the overall aesthetic of the bad guys.

Finally, it's off to the mines to save the professor and maybe cowboy guy's native-american girlfriend.

Honestly, the game is so laughably bad that I can't wait to talk more about it. That being said, as with the original mod, I really like the idea of what they were trying to do with the story and the setting, it's just obvious that this was not made by people with a lot of experience or singular vision. With the right team and focus, this could have been something great.

This one is a little personal, so expect me to talk more about my time with the game very soon.